an idea.

Submitted by heartfelttruth on
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one thing about a pornography addiction is that it can sore higher with the dopamine high's leading you to more unrealistic fantasies of sexual desires and crap like that. going cold turkey from a very high dopamine addiction is very hard. one thing tried was lessening the extremes of graphic pornography. this is a slower method and it may or may not work for you. lets say your addicted to porn and the sub section of that porn is hardcore, or even hentai. to bring your head back in reality. try masturbating to porn pictures, or a softcore porno with no fake unrealistic sex. basically you start imaging your more realistic fantasy's and sexual passion with women instead of having those extreme unreal fantasies being entered in your mind while watching hardcore or other fake stuff.

to cut it short. your lessening the high's you get with dopamine. if you masturbate to something more realistic and self-imagined, through pictures, or softcore where women are simple touching themselves, you won't get such a bottom low after orgasm, and then a overly high desire afterward.

yes i could of written this way better but if you get the point then you'll see what i mean. /\/\/\/\/\/\/\ - - - - - - - the middle ground is between those two through softcore porn, of course your goal is the latter - - - - ( what someone calls "organic" love making )

read the poem written about karezza.

Try Title 9

sports catalogue....beautiful, strong, scantily clad, women....BUT that's kind of like an alcoholic switching from the hard kick of whiskey to white wine....what's the point? It may be a way to "manage" your addiction....may be a way to feel less guilt, and you may succeed in curbing the downward spiral, but you're always focused on "it"...the obsession remains.

I'm 4 months, 4 orgasms, sober now after 46 years of porn use and many attempts to quit. Success has come to me through a genuine change of heart. Thanks to Marnia and my wife, it all pretty much just fell away. My focus now is on how to be a more loving person and porn just doesn't fit with my goal.

Stay on the path, it's worth the effort.

This discussion does get at an important point

I have a girlfriend who often has trouble dieting because when she does, she tries to deny herself totally the foods she needs to stop eating, without any enjoyable substitutes. Then she becomes so miserable that she says "screw this!" and indulges in something that *really* sets her back. My theory when making changes is that you have to find enjoyable, healthy substitutes for what you're giving up. So when I cut out dairy products, I filled the void with my favorite fresh fruits and other healthy treats. It was a surprisingly easy shift. I found "dairy substitutes" were not helpful at all. They just made me crave real dairy products. But switching to other foods I enjoyed as treats helped a lot. Best of all, my tastes shifted...and those other foods began to taste better and better. Now even raw nuts are yummy. Smile

The point is that rigid self-denial is very hard on the brain. The reward circuitry is there to steer us toward pleasurable activities. (This mechanism worked just fine when we "clever" humans hadn't yet learned to manufacture addictive things/activities in such over-abundance.)

This part of the brain isn't "smart." It's "instinctive." As my husband says, "if the reward circuitry doesn't find pleasure one'll look somewhere else." That's its job. It's there to make you miserable until you do something rewarding for yourself. Again, this worked well when all options were reasonably healthy (companionship, the satisfaction of learning a new skill, finding food, pursuing cute goddesses). Today it is backfiring...because there are so many readily available activities that register as "rewarding," but really just dysregulate our dopamine levels further, without moving us in any healthy direction.

All this is why this site emphasizes the need to focus on life's other pleasures - besides porn cues. Porn cues (even the less intense ones) tend to be a slippery slope, because there's a pathway in the brain that is already so strong and leads in one direction - toward orgasm, whatever it takes. Starting on that path leads to frustration, so better to choose a different path.

The good news is that a hunter-gatherer brain (like ours) is geared to find lots of other things enjoyable, too. These include: challenges (like hunting, or its modern-day equivalents...such as emailing new goddesses on line Wink ), exercise, time in nature, singing, connections with others (smiles, laughing, shared companionship), touch, intercourse (even without orgasm), helping others, working with kids, learning new things, and inspiring art, music, thoughts, etc.

I find some artwork of naked women (and men!) beautiful and uplifting and not addictive, and the Title 9 catalog may fall right in that category. But even if such images may be easy sources of pleasure, try focusing on some of those other pleasure sources mentioned earlier. At first they will feel effortful, but that will change. Once you knock the rust off of the connections in your brain ;-), you may find some of those other pleasure sources equally pleasurable (if less intense) and even more rewarding. At least you will get some freedom back. That can be surprisingly rewarding in itself. Who wants to be chained to a computer, even if it's for the purpose of scratching an itch that you are only making worse?


that title 9 - which is the short-hand way of referring to U.S. legislation in the 1970s which necessitated that women be given equal opportunity to sports as men - which meant equal practice time, equal funding, etc.

...funny that those catalogs - which arose from the feminist movement - are being used by men to fantasize over young college athletes!

Don't Go a Day Without a Carrot

Some are sweet, some more bitter....chips are much more predictable.

The Title 9 catalogues started coming to the house at the beginning of my spiritual awakening a couple of years ago. I was using Penthouse mags, Victoria's Secret, and hardcore internet stills. I never tried cutting the intensity and if anything my desire for more intensity increased. As I became appalled at the acts I could condone because the sexual content made it OK (degradation, violence) Title 9 started showing up. I thought, "Here are the images of the requisite beautiful, exposed women, not being violated and degraded....let's use them!" It worked a few times but they were real women, smart, strong, with names (somehow different than Playboy), beautiful, and flawed. They called me to honor and respect them and their porn sisters. That was part of my first major reduction in the use of porn.


Thanks for everyone's feedback!
Marnia thank you for that on self denial, and pleasures etc.
Many eye openers..

To give a little feedback

To give a little feedback about this experience, ( reducing the intensity of pornography ).
I'd have to say that it definitely helped "getting those demons" (as one friend would say) out
of my head. I started reducing it from hardcore videos to soft - then to pictures (soft) -
then simple to an actress by the name of Zhang ZiYi she actually didn't have any make up on
in this particular picture, and she did a very sincere and innocent non-sexual pose. I still found
her stunningly beautiful and attractive, yet not so sexually attractive. I simply related her
to a women that could give love, and I could give love to. This dopamine high session ( masturbation )
took place last night. I actually find myself today, with a very slight urge to masturbate, but only
because that certain part of the brain urges it. Yet I fully know where it will lead to do so, so of course
it is completely pointless to do so. I feel a more stable sense of contentment now. And I really don't
feel like masturbating with the urges that I once use to have.

not yet :)

not that i can practice karezza with, but since i live with my mother and aunt, im sure i can further improve the love between me and them.

Only if in deep and frequent

I experienced this phase briefly. The wierd stuff is out there. I would say that the key is if you do ejaculate every other day or more, this does help. Before knowing this site, I tried and it helped. But get ready for the cold turkey, its coming.