Submitted by shoggoth on
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Hi

I'm new here but already readed a lot of posts. I'll try to tell something about me but you have to excuse any problem with my english because it's not the language of my country ok?

Since my teenage years I made an association between the frequency of masturbation and the way people act with me. I do no why but just observing I knew that's something was different. I had a lot of readings in occult teachings for an obsessive interest that I can't explain. I like to be alone a lot of time but I have no problems to socialize with people too. I'm quiting a relationship of 8 years now for reasons that me and her don't understand since we still love each other a lot. Something was wrong and I have to confess that in the last 5 years or something like that I was in masturbate frequently. Since I beggining to try to stop with this I started to observe the difference again. Not just in energy but in my interactions with people. Some can say that it's because I stay more receptive to social contact but in my observations I think that people became more receptive too (a lot). Even my ex starts to act with me like in the beggining of our history. My dreams became lucid again and my spiritual experiences as a rosicrucian is getting better. I would tell that everything will be perfect now but I readed some things on the web that makes me confuse and I would like to ask for help.

1 - When I realize that a girl wants to make sex with me I masturbate before cause when I was in abstinence for a long time I became VERY near of an orgasm with any touch in my body. Remember that "American Pie" scene when the girl touch the guy and he ejaculate? Well... This is my fear because I think it's really gonna happen if I was in weeks without an orgasm.

2 - I read some urologists saying that semen retention can cause a lot of problems to your prostate and cause impotence. They say that we have to ejaculate at least one time in a week to avoid future problems. And in some forums I read some people asking for help because they made semen retention and had this problems. At the same time I read people with no problems to do it. What do you think?

I hope you understand my questions because I REALLY want to do the semen retention for the rest of my life but I have to free my mind of this first. Congratulations for your posts. I'm happy to find such a place on the web. =)

Welcome!

Is that a picture of you? Wink

Your questions are clear and your English is brilliant (thanks for making the effort), but the answers are not. We are all learning together here. I'll address your questions first, with some random thoughts.

I once talked to a doctor who was also a tantra practitioner. His thought is that channeling the sexual energy upward, rather than outward in ejaculation, is not a problem...unless the man is fighting himself too hard. If he continues to do this long-term, that's when damage to the prostate could occur. This means that some of the more forceful Taoist and tantra practices may not be such a good idea.

However, a weekly regimen of ejaculation ignores the differences between sexual approaches - which may effectively veil a powerful, beneficial practice from our attention. The practice that this site focuses on (mostly) is a very gentle form of intercourse, where partners ideally do not go near the edge of orgasm. The focus is on the exchange of loving, generous energy...rather than on trying to reach a goal (orgasm or forcing sexual energy). See: http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/neotaoism_and_karezza

Obviously, as you point out, gentle sex of this type is not easy to achieve with a new lover. This is why we also suggest that lovers who want to experiment with this technique start with two weeks of affectionate contact, without intercourse. This gives them both a chance to stabilize their sexual energy. (See http://www.reuniting.info/science/ecstatic_exchanges_and_neurochemistry, which also discusses why we think this approach works.)

Redbeard just (indirectly) explained this in his recent post. Jumping into bed with someone is like a shining a flashlight in the dark. It's very dramatic. But if you engage in two weeks of affectionate exchange first, you will feel like you both (sort of) fill with light, and then sex is still wonderful...but can be more relaxed and playful, and less dramatic. Relaxed sex can also more easily serve as a spiritual path.

Feel free to add your thoughts on prostate issues at this thread: http://www.reuniting.info/node/726

Also, I have enabled you to blog, if you would like to start your own threads there. Instructions: http://www.reuniting.info/resources/bloggers

It's fascinating that you noticed the link between masturbation and how the rest of the world responds to you. We usually speak of that phenomenon here as "projection of a sense of depletion (temporary low dopamine?)." But our inner state shapes our external reality, so I have no trouble believing that how we use our sexual energy also shapes what we attract to ourselves.

In other words, your observations make perfect sense to me. It's interesting that we have a way of shape our experience that we never realized, isn't it?

I'm so sorry to hear about your relationship. If it's not too late, you might want to try bonding behaviors (http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/bonding_magic), or I could send you the Exchanges privately. Relationships are too precious to allow biology to trample them to death without a fight! Did you watch this program? The full 43-minute version is here: http://www.reuniting.info/download/The%20Hidden%20Factor%20in%20Relation...

A shorter version is on YOU Tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mha7DUuxrYA

Hi there

Hi shoggoth, I don't have any answers for you but just wanted to say hello...

[quote=shoggoth]
Since my teenage years I made an association between the frequency of masturbation and the way people act with me.
[/quote]

Strange and fascinating, I was surprised to notice this as well now that I am "hands-off"...

I have noticed people on antidepressants sometimes report that they only realize the drug is working when people start behaving differently toward them... For example, see this anecdote...

So while I wouldn't go so far as to say that excessive masturbation makes us "depressed", since antidepressants often interact directly with libido maybe the association is closer than I think... I certainly do feel tired and unmotivated for a while afterwards...

Orgasm-supressants

I saw a post insinuating this over on the POIS forum also... might have been yours. It sure would seem to explain why they take around 2 weeks to start working!

Hmmm...

Never thought of that.

I swear that humanity is about to "get it" about this neurochemical cycle. This doctor came *so* close, but when I wrote to him...no answer. The rumble of 60 years of urban myth collapsing is very unsettling. http://www.reuniting.info/science/sex_and_depression_in_the_brain_if_not...

Actually, I think sexual repression *can* cause problems...but it is probably less of a risk than the dangers posed by sexual addiction. In any case...what's wrong with an intelligent middle ground??

Hi again =) Well... I like

Hi again =)

Well... I like very much the taoist alchemy and I'll try to direct the energy to save my prostate. Actually the best I can do is experiment for myself and ignore some opinions because as a neuroscientist I know how the science can't find a consensus in a lot of ideas. And I think that if the act of no ejaculation is so dangerous we should hear about damaged people all the time because a lot of people don't release for different motivations. I used to meditate too and I heard that this could help (makes sense).

The good news is that my ex-girlfriend wants to try again =) I do no if I can really associate with the semen retention but she don't wanted to come back two months ago (when I was in masturbation yet). Actually I decided to stop when we broke and had meet some girls a few weeks after (just kisses and preliminars). I really believe in the action of human pheromones and as testoterone derivated (in male) maybe they could be acting when we don't release. I read about an increase in aura in a taoist book and some other things that makes sense to me at least.

So tomorrow we will date and probably have sex. I used to made the retention in sexual act as a form of obtain prolonged pleasure but in the end I always got an orgasm. And I still don't have sex since I was in retention so let's see what's gonna happen =) But if I release after a long long good sex I think I'll be happy anyway and go to day zero again with a smile in the face...

Thanks for the attention =) I really learned a lot in this forum.

I'm glad you'll be smiling ;-)

You sound awfully open-minded for a neuroscientist. Are you sure you're in the right field? *evil grin*

Actually, it's great to know that you are in that field and asking such interesting questions. Much success with your future research.

My Answers

I'm coming a bit late to this thread, but since it looks like no one addressed your first question, let me take a shot at it. Since you're into the Taoist sexual alchemy, how much of the male Kegel exercises have you done? I have found this to help greatly. For me, it was the advice I got on this site to do them while urinating, stopping and starting. I read in, I believe, one of Mantak Chia's books that the goal is be be able to control your orgasm--have it when you want, sooner, later, it's your choice. That's what the male Kegel exercises give you. (There might be some mental shifts to make too, like relaxing or allowing mental excitement to slow down or speed up, respectively. Plus opening your chi meridians.)

Also, the herbal desensitizers help. (Not the chemical ones. Those just deaden and remove a lot of the pleasure.) I like the Indian God brand that comes in a little pink spray can, but the other ones, available at a Chinese pharmacy, are good too.

However, I think if you redirect your energy upwards using the sexual alchemy techniques, that will be the biggest help. In the meantime, though, these two methods are good.