This awesome suggestion came from http://www.sixwise.com/Newsletters/2009/June/17/Are-You-at-Risk-of-an-Un.... (They have a free email newsletter with lots of articles about everyday living, nutrition, etc.)
Consider agreeing in the good times to always hold hands softly and tenderly while discussing any point or issue, even during arguments. This keeps most people positively connected and keeps them from raising their voices or tempers.
I think I would stress the "always". If she talks to me while not touching me, I'll pretend I didn't hear it.