Feel so sad and alone

Submitted by sync on
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Hey, I've been a member of this forum for a long time now and love the website.

I have been single now for many years. I'm still young (20s.) I feel so alone and sad because of this. I'm not depressed at the moment, but take some medicines to help with health problems. I have been looking for a long time but no woman seems to want me. To be honest, I am not bad looking, I am healthy and don't see why I would be so seemingly unattractive to women. I want a girlfriend so much. :( I can't stand it. I had some girlfriends at school - this was a long time ago. I would love to hug a girl again. Cray 2


Sorry to hear about that. I seem to push away the women Im most interested in. Its a weird thing for sure. I think Poet is right though, women pick up on subtle cues, if they think youre too easy, they might think that you dont value yourself. They are really good at picking up on this stuff. Sometimes guys that you might not think have anything going on get women, they just have a sense of confidence. Some confidence is fake, some women are particularly attracted to fake confidence. I know women that are successful and they like guys that dont have their lives together. Actually, I met my ex at a particularly bad time when I didnt have my life together. She still dates dudes that dont have their lives together. Its a very weird thing. Dont touch these women with a ten foot pole! Keep building intimacy with friends, you will come off fulfilled and will better attract a woman when you are more or less ready. I found spending time with my mom actually helps.

Women pick up on sleeze, neediness like nothing else. If theyre actually into it, run! A lot of women are unhealthy in our society, it might not be a bad thing that they are staying away from you. It could be that you are doing something right. Hang in there.
Thats great that you abstain from pornography

Well Meaning Advice . . .

. . . from someone who really doesn't know your situation or the challenges you face.

Don't focus on getting a girlfriend. Looking like you need one may actually be getting in the way. Get involved with a group that shares one of your interests. If you have a hobby, there is probably a group you can join. That allows you to get to know women in a less stressful environment. Some groups are better than others. A group that re-enacts classic Japanese battles may not be as promising as a dance class, for example. Singing, dancing or something cultural are good candidates, as is anything at a church.

A guy where I work had problems getting a date. A couple of the women helped him out, telling him how to change his hairstyle and update his wardrobe. As it turned out, he didn't have to go far. He married another woman in the office.


I'm sorry

I could give you advice if you want it, but mostly I just want to say that I'm sorry you are lonely, and you're not alone! It's probably one of the more painful things you can experience as a human, but it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you.

Sending cyber-hugs, and I hope you feel better.