Clarification of one of the main points of the book "Peace between the sheets"

Submitted by marcodi on
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I've recently read "Peace between the sheets", although kind of fast. Plus english is not my first language, so there is a possibility that my question is already answered in the book. However i'm looking here for a straight answer from the author of this book: I've understood and I agree with the main topic of the book, hence that craving for orgasm and wild exitement is a form of addiction that subtly undermines our health/balance. I have first person experiences which confirm that to me. Now, getting to the point, I need to know if the author is affirming that we should live a life without orgasms. I mean, assumed that one manages to have intercourses with no peaks is it possible/advisable/healthy not to ever have orgasms? for years? ( here i'm talking about looking for pregnancy). I remember that in the book Marnia wrote that Taoists recommended a different frequency of orgasms according to the age of the subject and the season. Now, what's the author's opinion? and the question here turns into this: when to have a orgasm? is there a particular way to have that orgasm? ( i mean, if we struggle to reach the date in which we are allowed to have the orgasm and then we release there all our tensions for craving for it... i guess this totally goes in the opposite direction of what she wrote). I hope that i cleared posed my question, of course I'd be glad to listen to anyone's opinion, even though i
basically posed the question to Marnia.

I wish you all peace between and out of the sheets.



[quote]I wish you all peace between and out of the sheets.[/quote]
You make me smile...I love your questions
I am 7 months and 6 orgasms on this path
I do not like suppressing the O. I don't think it's good for me to come close and stop.
For me, understanding is the key. Knowing that orgasm is likely to separate us and to watch out for the backlash has been a tremendous boon. Shifting my goal from cumming to loving has created the biggest and most rewarding change. It no longer matters to me if I cum or not. I just won't try to make it happen (well sometimes, see "Chippin"). If we do, I will bring love and compassion to the hangover phase.
I am very happy with the way it's all working out.

Blessings on you

Hi Marco

First, if you are trying to conceive, then you should set "Peace Between the Sheets" aside and just let biology take the wheels. It's very good at making babies.;-) The two systems don't work well together. The approach recommended here can be a surprisingly effective form of birth control.

In "Peace" I was a bit vague about orgasm frequency because it *does* consistently seem to cause friction to build between partners, and the goal of that book is "peace between the sheets." However, this caused some people to get caught up in trying to be "perfect."

In my updated version ("Cupid"), I actually encourage people to experiment with both approaches for several weeks at a time and learn what they learn. Longer experiments are also very illuminating, as Che (above) has discovered. People need to make their own experiments and find their own balance.

In my case, my husband and I never "go for" orgasm, even though it happens on rare occasions. We choose not to because we prefer the easy harmony between us when we're consistent with the practice. Others make other choices, which is what they should do. Everyone, however, seems to benefit from learning how there can be "too much of a good thing" and why. If nothing else, it helps the sexes see each other with more compassion.

I realize this doesn't really answer your question, but I'm not sure there is a "one size fits all" answer.

Feel free to blog if you like. Thanks for writing...and for exploring the ideas.