Wow... what a great website. Don't know how I stumbled upon this but it appears that I've found a group of guys that is dealing with the same thing I deal with on a daily basis. Sometimes I feel as though I'm the only man trying to overcome porn/masturbation and the rest of the world has just given up and doesn't care. I believe those of us that are on this site and trying to deal with these issues are in the minority.
Can you guys relate to how I feel about porn/masturbation?
I have noticed that when I masturbate and look at things I shouldn't I want to isolate myself more. I'm actually a church going person and I notice that when I have relapsed I want to make up excuses so as to avoid church and seeing people. It's a terrible feeling to have, but the addiction is so strong that part of me just wants to have that feeling of "whatever I dont care" that i always get afterward.
I also notice that the urge is alot stronger for me if I haven't been around others and had human contact for a while, which makes the isolation worse.
It also doesn't make it any easier that no one knows about this problem. My best friend and I used to explain how we struggled with this back in our teenage years, but we have lost contact. If anyone were to describe me they would say I'm one of the kindest people they know, and they wouldn't believe some of the things I've seen or thought about. it's a part of me that is dark and only comes out during relapses. Can you guys relate to this?