Addictified

Submitted by Pleasias on
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This is my first post here and to be honest I'm a little nervous, but after reading other people's posts it's given me confidence to post something here myself.

I'm 25 years old and I've had a problem with porn for years, going on about 14 now. There was a period of 2 years though where I didn't look at it... It's not that I didn't, it's more like I couldn't because I was on a government facility where pornographic sites were banned on all the computers.
During those times I think I was at my peak of creativity, writing poetry, songs, and stories. I also talked to everyone, not shying away from a soul. Without skipping a beat, right when I got home I went back into my old habits of spending the day looking at the nakedness of the internet.

Fast forward about to years to where I am now. I've become an introvert secluding myself away from everyone and I'm shy and depressed most of the time. Which is the exact opposite of how I was away from it.

I keep telling myself I'll "snap out of it" but when will that be? It's been over a decade, I just don't want it to be another one.

Thanks in advance

P.S. - I stumbled upon this place by accident, but I think it's really cool that there's a site with other people that have the same problem as me.

Welcome Pleasias

I've enabled you to blog if you want to. You also might want to check out the "first visit?" section for more information on this site and resources that are available. It wasn't orginally intended as a website for addiction recovery...but you are all welcome here in any case!

Its the best website for recovery

Amari,
Its the best website for recovery. It has a strong base in science and gives direction to healthy intimacy. That is something addicts have been looking for the whole time. Very grateful for the website and the work you guys put into it. It really is a first class site and the links and articles are nice. If I am ever to practice karezza as you suggest, I would definitely have to take care of this addiction.

Pleasias,
Its easy to get caught up and isolated in porn. Good thing you figured out whats making you depressed. Its sad, but a lot of people are on meds when the problem can be taken care of with a few lifestyle modifications. Think about how much money we are saving on meds throughout our lives! My therapist swore that I needed meds a couple of years ago. I have since started a program of figuring out whats going on underneath the depression along with regular exercise, diet, and meditation. Two years later, I figured out what was going on, felt a little worse at first, but now I am feeling better than I have in about 7 years and I am excited to see how good I feel in a few more months. There is no reason for depression to be so prevalent in our society other than certain lifestyle habits. We are perfectly capable of figuring out what these things are for ourselves and alleviating our depression. Depression is not a permanent thing and is not our fundamental state. Its a matter of weaving through our acquired cultural and societal habits to find what is causing our pain and remaining totally honest with ourselves. Quitting is not an easy thing to do, but once you start doing it, I think youll be compelled to quit eventually, even if it takes years. However, life is happening and waiting for us to join it again. Good luck