i think i have dopamine deficiency

Submitted by cool7 on
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hello every one
Hi am a 20 years old male and I think I am living a boring life, nothing intretst me as life used to be back in high school, full of passion adrenalin. I was always falling in and out off love.
When I see beautiful girls around my heart would always jump and start beating fast.
Later on after 2006 when i finished hight school, I started to realise that I was missing alot of those feelings, I wasn’t doing what my friends were doing, they were always talking about girl’s friends, going out, I was just being a good boy, staying home. I was getting real bored with my life.
I started going out around 2007, socialising with allot of girls, most of them had crush on me, they were beautiful no crush with any of them at allot. I though if I had a g/f it might bring back those feelings back, I tried every thing sex no sign at all.
I started to realise that I had no more feelings not even for sex, I never drove any pleasure out of it, it was as boring as doing sit ups, no emotions attached to it what so ever.
I can get an erection, with no strong desire attached.
Iv seen 2 doctors and they couldn’t help, all they were asking if I again an eructation, how long it lasted and told me it might be a psychological problem.
Until now 2009 I feel the same way.
So today I came across this web site and started reading the topic( your brain on sex) I cam to realise that I might have deficients in dopamine or oxotocin level.
Because the listed behaviors and conditions associated with dopamine levels I usually experience those on the Deficient section, to the point were sometimes every thing is just boring.

So… what does it mean for me, if this is my problem?
Can it be resolved?
because i dont want to be like this for the rest of my life.

Energy Deficiency

Hi Cool7,

Thank you for taking the time to write. It's hard to deal with a general problem like what you describe. It's easier to deal with something specific. At least you know what caused it and you can get advice about what to do about it.

I suggest you do two things: go back to something you used to do that filled you with energy and find a way to help other people.

Were you on any sports teams? Did you enjoy debating issues with other people? Were you involved in the arts? Did you enjoying just hanging out with friends? Whatever it was, find a way to get back into it. That will help with your lack of energy (dopamine / oxytocin / serotonin).

Helping other people by volunteering at a charity, helping a neighbour or getting involved at church is a powerful way to feel better. Somehow, helping others with their problems makes my problems feel smaller.

Good luck and keep writing!

reply

hi poet
your wellcome and thank you for taking the time to read my problems.

Most of my time at the present moment I have always been doing what I find most interesting, I am an athlete I train for 100m, I am in a music band, I am dancer, singer and also play the bass guitar. I am also an artist.
This activities keep me away from stress most my time. What warries me the most after 2006 I started to realise my emotions have changed since that times, passion for everything is not strong as used to be. every thing dropped.
I am not very interested in girls like before, and I am not being attracted to the same sex at all.
but wen it comes to sex thats the most boring part, I tried watching more porn, talking about sex, trying to reinforce it into my mind, it just wasn’t happening.

I was having a g/f about a month ago, she is beautiful and a lot of guys are always interested in her.
I take her for who she is, nice, generous, she knew about my problem that I wasn’t very emotional guy, I dint get hurt easy. She always said that I was perfect, because I am very simple and always had to have fun, other wise I get bored n start getting confused.
Any way I am not crazy about her but I told her that I loved her for who she was. One morning I had to drop her to work, I don’t know what happened to her over night she was the most beautiful girl I ever seen in more then 3 years.
I didn’t want her to go work that morning, I couldn’t believe my eyes.
When I got home I started singing n dancing by my self I was just so happy, one thing i didnt do was have sex that day.
Next day everything went to normal I tried to spend more time with her, instead she started giving me hard time, she was making her self busy, ignoring me, I told her we needed to spend more time together, she said I was becoming too much n controlling, every thing just went up side down. I was putting so much effort trying to fix it
It went for 3 weeks, I started getting depressed I lost some weight, I never wanted to leave her, she was giving me funny excuses that my friends were talking negative about me and she didn’t believe me, that I was a liar. I was always honest with her.
I don’t think it was my fault because I told her what I was going through and what my problem was.
ill try and investigate what triggered my emotions that day. 2 days before that I was rehearsing sex in my mind few times a day as meditation. The more I tried that the more I got frustrated because I wanted a quick change.
For now I think i have solved my own problem ill just concentrate on imagining sex in my mind, and see if life turns out to be more intresting.

Hey Cool7

Welcome to the site. Feel free to blog if someone hasn't already invited you.

Sounds to me like you're a healthy guy. All the right feelings are definitely there. My thought is that relationships can be so chaotic on this planet that most of us find ways to create walls.

Would your girlfriend be willing to try something really different for a few weeks? If so, I could send you the Ecstatic Exchanges. Here's an article about them: http://www.reuniting.info/science/ecstatic_exchanges_and_neurochemistry

*big hug*

Well, how do you usually

Well, how do you usually have sex? Maybe you're just bored with the cultural norms of how people have sex. What about it exactly do you find boring? Is it that its predictable? Is it that its scripted? Is it that you're both just playing roles? I know there have been times when the STYLE of how someone would have sex with me could totally shut me down and bore me, emotionally and otherwise. Especially if I could tell the guy was just trying to reenact a scene from Porn, or that his idea of what was exciting was being informed by porn. It was boring because it was scripted. Like going through the motions of what everyone is SAYING should be sexy or make you feel sexy. Maybe the girls you've been with or the general cultural style of having sex is just not really your style or what opens you up? Maybe the girls you're with are trying to perform for you in the way they think guys will find them sexy, but they don't really know there's more going on inside you? It's all about the access point, the approach, that allows two people to calibrate. If you don't know what you're own opening point is, it will be hard to calibrate yourself to someone and let them know what style resonates with you.

cool7

you know, there is one place where you can actually find true happiness... i've gone through a lot of hardship, but i'm healed now... i feel love and excitement!

your case sounds to me a little like depression... a specific type...

you need to find that specific place where you will be healed... i hear people talking about the universe providing them with answers... it' just a load of......
if you'd really like to know how you can be healed... reply to this message...

Sounds like your situation

could be a blessing in disguise. If you work the Exchanges and do bonding behaviors you may find that your feelings will normalize and you will be balanced with enough of what is needed to keep a healthy relationship going. And, that healthy relationship may not be related to any strong desires or wantingness which your memory relates to now. If you are similar to my case, I tended to expect all kinds of passion/adrenalin which really only leaves you wanting more and more and soon enough your sick of the person and feel like you must move on (read about the coolidge effect on this site). That is now not the goal, and, was mistakinly sought after as a prime motive in previous relations which inly lead to seperation in large part due to lack of bonding.
After reading a lot on this site and Cupid, I am finding that the wantingness can be replaced with Lovingness via the bonding behaviors. Too much "passion adrenalin" as you describe for some only leads to problems of lust and addiction, that is why I say it could be a blessing in disguise.

I also believe everything is

physical, mental and spiritual. I think that the information on this site addresses the mental and spiritual very well, which, I also believe has the power to affect changes on the physical. But, I also believe that some foods/pharma/suppliments also help so you could consider trying some supplements for depression, in particular SAMe but make sure you do your research first. I recommend Jarrow Formulas SAMe and there is some good information about it on this Dr.'s site:
http://www.raysahelian.com/sam-e.html
On another note, I did find the info on SAMe stating that someone had a reduction in gambling and alcohol cravings pretty interesting.