karezza with a new person

Submitted by Gypsy on
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I met a man who wanted to do a version of Karezza, and at first, it was wonderful. I thought that we were going to go for a real relationship, but then he basically only wanted to get together for the sexual part, not for anything else. After a while, this stressed me out, and I did not feel open any longer. Does Karezza work in a casual relationship, or does one need to be with someone you are realy committed to?

A picture is worth a thousand O's

But on my reading- " A version" of Karezza, what's that mean exactly-something greater than 8-10 minutes. If that was the case, then I'd say he was a pig-n-poke and he wasn't being honest with you.

So, as a man seeking a "test' experience with my girlfriend or someone new, who ever comes - I mean works out first, I'd be sensitive to the level of heat and make certain to back off or up or out or whatever. It's a mutually agreed upon act not for any one to take an advantage of another.

Spiritual Experience...

I had an AMAZING experience today... I haven't read a lot on Karezza but based on what I've read I believe this is what we did combined with Tantra love making. No orgasm was experienced, something much more satisfying and longer lasting was experienced. We had an erotic shower together first. In the bedroom we spent lots of time kissing and exploring each others bodies. We then massaged each other and gave each other oral. I think we must have kissed each other head to toe several times and it was just so wonderful, I felt so energized giving and receiving. I did enter her, but when I did the intention was to concentrate on how everything felt. We formed a slow and continuous rhythm with our bodies. We also explored a variety of positions, but whenever I got close it would slow down and focus on touching and kissing. This carried on for almost an hour and eventually it got to a point where I remained inside of her and we just began stroking each other and kissing each other. There was no peak, we enjoyed romaing in the valleys and I almost got lost there. Both of us felt so "healed" and afterwards we just could not stop chatting about EVERYTHING. Even now, I just feel so content and desireless. During the experience there was just so much "heat", the whole room became hot and humid. It's strange because we were very slow with everything, nothing very vigorous at all. If you're reading this, then please try it and don't focus on having an orgasm. Just ENJOY your partner and feel them, breathe with them and connect with them.

Wow!

a new goddess! Lucky you. Thanks for sharing your experience.

Be aware that biology can be very sneaky. Does she understand the goal here? If not, she will *innocently* try to "please" you more and more, and...ooops! You'll be back on the roller coaster.

Personally, I've found oral sex is almost guaranteed to lead to this result sooner or later...and generally sooner. Wink That's one reason the Exchanges are helpful. They create some boundaries without anyone having to try to "control" the other person. Let me know if you want me to send them.

In any case, I'm really happy for you. *big smile*

Oral..

The oral part was not performed with any intensity, it was just very loving and innocent... It felt great but it was just a detour. I've noticed that when orgasm isn't involved the creativity of both individuals naturally increases. The way you touch, kiss, etc. all change and vary considerably. The whole act becomes so fresh and new thanks to the energy being transmuted into creativity. Afterwards we were both glowing and smiling, I don't think I've ever smiled like that before... I realize that during the encounter my whole mindset was just so different. I remember a time when I'd be thinking what do I need to do to "orgasm", or what do I need to do to make her "orgasm". But this time it was about what do I need to do to make her feel loved and beautiful. When I was performing oral on her it was with the intention of showing her that I love that part of her and that she's beautiful, not to take her over the top. I still have lots to learn about this whole thing, but I'm glad that I've had a glimpse of what it can offer!

Yes, please send the exchanges. Thanks.

You're so right

that anything CAN be an affectionate exchange. My point is just that certain things can get so much dopamine buzzing that they cause a buildup of frustration.

As long as you're feeling deep satisfaction instead, you're golden!

Does she know what you're (not) doing and why? If so, how did you communicate your desire to try something different?

Not telling..

The only thing that I've told her is that I'm very satisfied being intimate with her, touching her and kissing her. She understands that I don't have a need for an orgasm. She seemed to be very happy with the prolonged love making. I know she loves all the extra attention to touching, kissing and massaging. Maybe women don't feel objectified when love making is performed this way because it's not goal oriented, it's just about sharing and expriencing. I think this all has so much to do with the ego. The ego loves to accomplish "goals".