mens addiction to sexual stimulation

Submitted by scullions on
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how do man control their desiore for sexual stimulation ,my fantasy is that women manage this desire and men find it harder,why apart from the obvious that man are the donaters of sperm and women recievers;and the old arguement woman want money men love

Welcome to the site

First, according to a Dutch scientist who studies sex and the brain, we're ALL addicted to sex. Smile It's true that you guys have it tougher, because you have more testosterone and your hormones are relatively constant. Ours fluctuate with our monthly cycles, and we can get just as sexually frustrated as you guys at certain days.

Second, the premise of this website is that rather than fighting to control sexual desire, it's better to strive for equilibrium at a brain chemical level. Then sexual desire tends to stay more manageable.

There are many time honored ways to do this: meditation, managing sexual energy differently, improving diet, more exercise, more friendly interaction with others, service to others, time in nature.....

The one we talk about on this site is managing sexual energy differently. This is challenging, because today most of the sexual advice...and most of the advertising on the planet...are both geared to create IMbalance in the very delicate part of our brain that governs moods and cravings.

This situation, which is unlike anything our ancestors faced over the millions of years while our brain was evolving, is unnatural. Because we don't realize that, we think our inflamed libidos are "natural." In fact, the more you orgasm to try to ease your frustration, the more intense your NEED for orgasm (that is, the more intense your frustration. It turns out that you don't need orgasm so much as you need to feel fulfilled and balanced). The Chinese recorded this insight thousands of years ago. And now modern neuroscience is revealing the clues that explain why this is. In other words, we're creating this problem for ourselves, and we can fix it by learning to manage our sexual energy to strive for balance, rather than simply striving for orgasm.

So basically, the solution we propose here is to "reboot" your brain and return to your brain's natural equilibrium (keeping in mind that you are designed to get much of your well-being from friendly interaction with "tribe" and mate).

By the way, women would probably say that "men want sex and women want love." These projections onto the opposite sex don't shed much light on the underlying challenge of over-stimulated brains. Smile

I want love. At this point

I want love. At this point right now. The way I feel at this moment in my struggle. I want love. I could do with out sex (well I have my whole life anyway). What I mean is I could do without orgasm or I am sure sex if I could get love. Not sure where I am going with this. It is just I really need to find some way to move past where I am. If i just continue to not have orgasm and stay alone what is the point in that?
I have been through many things to stimulate sexual desire. I want something more now. would I be here and going through what I have been going through if I did not ? I do no think so. I said I did not want to set goals well I lied. I count the days but the number of days do not matter. My goal is more than going without out orgasm. I want something else. It is starting to hit me hard I think. I need more out of this life than what those images I have been addicted to so long can give me.

sorry got to rambling along again. Just saying men may like being stimulated sexually but some of us want more than that. I think I could go without pure sexual stimulation if I could just find the love I want ? need ? sorry I do not know how to put it into words.

yes I feel better but new feelings can changes are making me more confused now than ever.

I hope at least some of that made sense


Makes complete sense to me... when I was in your situation, before I met my wife, although I craved the images and the orgasms and having real sex, what I really wanted more than anything was just to find someone to share my life with, a soulmate if you like. When that finally happened, sex didn't enter into the equation for quite a while.... but looking back there was lots and lots of what, in the context of this site, I now know as bonding behaviours, and I look back fondly on that time way more than I look back on the sex.

I think finding love is a wonderful goal.


You want love

Focus on any Manifestation of God and you will find love instantly. he could be Lord Jesus, Lord Buddha, a pet whom you loved and who loved you. I speak from experience.