Is there a difference between addiction to masterbation vs addiction to orgasm?

Submitted by MyWorstDay on
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Where to start... ??

How about this; I know that I am addicted to sex (thought life, porn, masterbation ~ and on and on!).

I'm 40. I started down this path in my early teen years. I got married at 30. I started a family, and about 5 years into marriage it REALLY got out of control. I hope I hit the bottom earlier this year when I was "found out" by my spouse. I've been "in recovery" since then (and occasionally stuggling with it).

Recently I had been comparing my sex addiction with alcoholism when it occured to me; An alcoholic (if successful in their sobriety) will not have another drink ~ but what about me? As a sex addict my definition of "sobriety" is not to have sex with anyone, including self, other than my partner.

My addicition (viewing porn, which lead to masterbation, which lead to orgasm ~ thought life/day-dreaming, which lead to masterbation, which lead to orgasm ~ phone sex, which lead to masterbation, which lead to orgams)... My addiction always ended in the release of orgasm. Assuming that I am successful in sobriety I will only have sex and reach orgasm with my spouse... but unlike the alcoholic whose definiation of successful sobriety is "black and white" (ie; NO DRINKS), my end result is still orgasm. The main difference (that I recognize) is that I don't do all those "bad" things I use to do to reach orgasm... but I still need the orgasm. In the mean time I'm dealing with a marriage in repair (with very little sex ~ as compared to the amount of sex I was having with myself). My thought life is still OUT OF CONTROL (while most of other activities ~ computer porn ~ have completely stopped).

(I don't even know what to ask ~ I don't know if I'm addicted to 'orgasm' or to 'sex' or 'computer porn' or if it's all the same ~ but I don't know how I can live a life wherein I masterbated/orgasmed at least once a day for 20+ years and now that I've been caught I am expected only to reach orgasm once a month)