Hi. I am 24 years of age and have been with my husband for the last three years. We began practising controlled intercourse after a couple of months of being together. My husband does not see any problem with orgasm but has granted my wish for us both to renounce them totally (together or alone) which he says is because of love for me.
A few background notes (this is a little hard to share): Throughout my childhood and teenage years I was a frequent masturbator, which later became quite an addiction for many years, a way to escape from and numb myself to a life I wasn't enjoying. I recieved no information from anywhere that masturbation was harmful just a voice within wondering if orgasming really was as without consequence as it is commonly said to be. Well some part of me answered that question in a dream set in a place of light where I saw written in a triangle the words "Do not masturbate because you lose your power". My mind did not comprehend what the word power meant in this context so I disregarded the dream and continued. (I guess now power is synomymous with energy for me). A few years later I joined some classes where it was taught, among other things, that one must avoid orgasm so I told my husband (boyfriend at the time) that is the way it would have to be. I have since left those classes for other reasons, so was absolutely delighted to discover the Reuniting site.
The most obvious benefit to me has been that my menstrual pain has become completely mild as compared to unbearable before I renounced orgasm (my bodies confirmation of the benefits it seems). After making love with my husband in this way there is a feeling of fullness in my aura, so to speak. I consistently experience feelings of deep well being, a renewed connection to my husband each time and a lightness in my step. (I have never experienced such feelings after an orgasm, only flatness/emptiness/sleepiness/sadness) He too says he is satisfied despite there being no orgasm.
Initially while trying to get the hang of controlled intercourse we both have had slip ups of various degrees. Regarding my husband and wet dreams in the last three years he has only had one which was toward the end of a 8 month peiod where apart while he was overseas. The dream was a non-erotic one where the orgasm just came out of nowhere (whereas he has mentioned erotic dreams where there is orgasm in the dream but they are not wet dreams.) This I believe shows that non-orgasmic sex does not leave a person physically pent-up, where as no sex probably would. Because there was no love making between us for that time I believe his body did get pent up so released it at night. I guess that it works due to the sumblimation of sexual energies, as it is sometimes referred to, that happens during lovemaking without orgasm.
Lastly I wanted to mention I have twice fallen pregnant (nicely spaced 2.5 yrs apart) without orgasm/ejaculation. I am positive no slip-ups or near-misses were responsible as there where none around the time we conceived. So it only reconfirms for me that orgasm is not necessary at all. Although I should add they occasionally happen in my dreams, as do other former addictions like smoking.
That concludes my story so far. Thankyou for the space to share it. I look forward to reading other's experiences.