Okay, it's been 7 days and I decided to look at some porn again. Yesterday I saw a little bit just to see what it felt like. I realized just a few clips got me hard real quick which tells me that I've really linked my neuralplasticity to porn.
So tonight I wanted to check it again. I think part of it was that I felt a craving as well. This time I watched it for a longer period and played with myself a bit but did not orgasm.
So my question is, does this count as cheating? Should I start over now? I definitely felt the dopamine surge. However, I didn't orgasm and so I still have my energy.
No doubt it's a fine line and I don't plan to do this often. Although I think it would be good to check in from time to time to see how I feel about porn images. Has anyone had a similar experience that could advise?
By the way, I noticed that after a while of watching the porn clips I wasn't as aroused. I started to just watch and paid attention to how I felt about it, my thoughts, etc.
Was the cowardly lion just masturbating too much? Quite possibly, however if you remember the story has a happy ending (no pun intended). The cowardly lion finds out who is behind the curtains, the Wizard of Oz. Soon he gets his heart of courage and realizes that the Wizard wasn't so scary as he thought.
I look at this story as a metaphor to porn addiction. The people who run these porn sites are like the Wizard. Behind the scenes they are greedy people trying to manipulate men into feeling insecure. By posting porn videos of sex crazed men lusting for beautiful women along with the mistreatment of them, they send us a message that this is the way we treat women. And as we continue to watch, we start to fall for this and believe that this is how women want to be treated. And in the end, we turn into just another lab rat pulling levers for pleasure.
But if you realize that these porn sites were designed to prey on men's weaknesses, suddenly you have the power and choice. Suddenly you feel more confident knowing that this is not the right path. So let us all get our badge of courage and free ourselves from this nonsense.