I started posting her back near the beggining of summer. To keep a long story short, basically it was as such. Throughout the last year i have been in some relationships, during this time i have had some successful sexual encounters, but others have been complete failures. Sometimes it was tough for me to get an erection, and if i did sometimes it was tough for me to maintain one. Needless to say it was terribly embarrasing. I came across this website and have learned alot, i was a clear case of a P/MB addict (sometimes MB in excess of 15-20 times per week).
It all started about a year ago, i messed up once and it has stayed with me. Now i know that P and MB def have something to do with it cause it was hard for me to get aroused by things i knew i should have been aroused by. Its def had a huge negative impact. What has also happened is now everytime i get close to a women i get anxious. Everytime i think i could possibly end up in a sexual situation i get nervous and some sort of performance anxiety. I ask myself things like "am i going to be ok or is years or P and MB going to mess me up once again". Basically if everything is gonna work ok.
Fast Forward till now, i've still had my ups and downs. My struggles with quitting P and MB. I've been able to quit for 2 weeks several times, and did see improvements. However i am on day 8 again and my goal is to make it at least till april without any MB or P. I am currently dating a beatiful women whom i really like, i want to really get to know here before we have any type of sexual relation. However i know its possible no matter how comfortable i get with her, there still will be some anxiety when it gets to that point. When we do potentially get involved, i honestly could care less if i orgasm. Thats not my goal anymore, if she's happy then truely thats enough for me at this point.
I'm also thinking, maybe alot of my anxiety is caused by the fact that i used to MB so much that because of that i wasn't confident in my performance around women. Maybe if i stop it will not only help the physical, but help me become more confident as well and not worry so much, because i know i finally made the effort to change. I'll tell you one thing, it does make me feel better on a daily basis knowing i am making the effort.
I guess my questions are, has anyone else had performance anxiety issues caused by P and MB? If so were you able to overcome them? i've read many stories on the internet and on here of people who have, but i was wondering if their are more. They truely are encouraging. Again my goal isn't even to rush into sex, but knowing i'll be ok when i do would provide a huge relief for me.
Also one other thing. As i have stated i really wanna make the effort to try sex with no orgasm, again i finally realize its not all about me. However if i don't MB for a while i'm scared about premature ejaculation. I have heard if i take my time, and maybe work on some kegal exercises that this can help as well. I'm excited about the changes i'm making, and hopefull i will finally stay true to myself and stick with them.