My wife and I are in our mid-30's. I have made it to day 14 without an "O", which I haven't done since college. I am right around a new record, and I don't know how it will effect me. A combination of my wife not having much of a drive due to pregnancy, 2 kids, and being on vacation have a lot to do with this. Some of the anxiety and hyper feelings of the first few days have worn off. We did a lot of extreme cuddling on vacation, which made me very frustrated and excited at the same time---we spent hours in bed. It was tough to calm down at times.
She's developed a dislike of me pleasuring myself over the past few years. She's discussed this with her therapist. She won't forbid me because she thinks that would be unfair, as her sex drive is way in the ground due to pregnancy. I told her that she can be unfair, because she is pregnant. Last night, we committed to the idea that I should not have an "O" until her own sex drive returns, which could be weeks (she is 33 weeks gestation). I am nervous about slipping up and starting over after 14 days. I am also concerned that the excitement will fade, and I won't get much from waiting.
I have been looking at this website and have a few questions:
Is there really a 2 week hangover? If so, I have been hungover for almost my whole adult life---as with most men. I am curious about what is supposed to happen after the two week hump.
It seems like there are a lot more men than women on this website. Is having a partner who doesn't orgasm something that appeals to women? It hasn't appealed to my wife most of the time.
How does the female orgasm fit into evolutionary biology? Women can reproduce with or without an orgasm. Isn't the cycle for men and women different? My wife has a hard time orgasming due to medication, breast feeding, etc. My wife having a tough time is a given, so a focus on me abstaining can make me feel like I am being too phallocentric.
Along those lines, I first became interested in this subject due to various websites that deal with orgasm denial, chastity, etc., which is a very male oriented fetish. I realize that this is NOT the focus here, but I wonder if their are some guys out there who use some of the ideas here to dress up some fascinations that might otherwise seem dirty. I have seen a reference or two to some of the websites I am talking about.
Is some of this all about giving women the cuddly stuff they want so men don't have to feel guilty about certain fetishes they have? Is some of this about not "pressuring" women?
Sorry if I am all over the place. I am new. This is exciting stuff, but I am also nervous about it.