Hello, I'm new, both on this site and to the concept.
Altough, something I can remember from my first love is that altough the most intimate we got was french kissing, we would hug a lot, place my head on her heart etc. One thing I remember like it was yesterday (it was ~5 years ago) is that as soon as we parted after going out, I'd feel my heart sing, I'd run, jump, dance...i.e. I was very happy. And, of course, thought of her and felt close.
So, I noticed on my own skin that this kind of behaviours (touch which is not supposed to be foreplay) make people feel closer to each other.
Now, in the list of bonding behaviours and in other places on these site, I've read about how in order to "create" bonding (excuse my English) touch etc should be selfless, (and, if I understood correctly, not seek to excite?).
I've been "baffled" by a few examples of bonding behaviour like hugging/spooning/etc naked, or touching one's genitals with intent to comfort. Baffled: I can hardly conceive this to not be sexual (as in foreplay) in nature. Can/do these behaviours, after some time together (e.g. say two virgins get married. Of course in the beginning everything "turns them on", but after a few years...), take a ~non-sexual (caring/tender, not raising sexual tension, like foreplay does?) note, such as a long hug, or kissing on the cheek, or caressing one on areas other than the chest/genitals?
Hope you understand the question... :)
I did understand that "bonding behaviours" stimulate oxytocin release (without raising sexual tension, which would lead wether to orgasm or desire to orgasm, and which of course would be very unpleasant) while foreplay/sex stimulate dopamine release.
Thank you very much,
The materials were both eye-opening and incredibly interesting,