i don't know where else to post this, so i just do it here. i apologize for my english - it could be bad sometimes, because i am not a native speaker.
so enough about that - i am here, because i am addicted to porn. this realization came roughly one week ago.
why? i think because i do a lot of energy meditation these days. supplementary i thoroughly observe my thoughts and feelings. through my spiritual practice i enjoyed different wonderful states of all-pervading peace, which never lasted long. i know now that my sexual desire was responsible for this annoying disturbance.
i started to daily watch porn 8 or 9 years ago. today i am 21. i masturbated at least once a day, but often up to 6 times. i really thought it had no effect on my personality, but one day i realized, that i had sort of a split personality. being horny i saw women as an object for satisfaction. as a vagina with two legs. i know this sounds really degrading and i am in some sense deeply ashamed. on the other hand all my friends think the same way. so i never really had the possibility to do a reality check.
now i haven't been masturbating or waching porn for maybe 5 days and i am really feeling strong withdrawal symptoms. i am nervous and restless. whenever i hear about sex, strong, passionate and sometimes violent fanasies come to my mind. then i feel like releasing tension. last night i just couldn't fal asleep, because of all the thoughts and urges.
thank god i have found this page with all the information concerning the neurochemical processes of sex, for without it i would be completely lost.
also the exercises to withdraw energy from the genitals is very helpful.
i really want to thank you - and i want to make a commitment: i want to overcome my addiction. i want to report my progress. failure will not be tolerated. i want to make the change from lust to love.