Submitted by raj on
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Welcome Raj

You have lots of company here! The first step is to recognize the problem, so you've already begun.

You might want to have a look at some of the articles about porn addiction on the Wiki page (at the top of the page).

I've also enabled you to blog, in case you'd like to start your own thread. It helps to talk about what you're going through.

Good luck! It's a tough challenge, but there are lots of benefits.

Sounds like you're on the road

As Marnia said, first step is to admit you need to quit. Sounds like you are recognizing this is an issue for you.

The next step is probably more mental than anything. That is, establishing that you really want to quit, and making a commitment not to give up until you do. Coming out of this usually means two steps forward and one backwards. But if you commit to the process, and really want to end its dominance over you, you can do it with persistence. It means retraining the mind to bring the body under its control instead of the body subduing the mind into its slavery.

Once you are at that point, then all the other tricks, support, and methods of attacking this can work for you. Without it, you probably won't last long. It's up to what you really want to have happen.

And I wish you much success as you start down this road. It can be hard, but well worth the struggle.

Stay positive. First,

Stay positive.

First, decrease the frequency of masturbation and porn viewing. Start slow.

Develop a schedule for masturbation and porn use so that you begin to learn not to react to your urges. Instead, you will be doing these activities because you have planned to do them. Because you want to do them.

Next, learn to separate porn and masturbation. When you masturbate, don't look at porn; when you look at porn, don't masturbate.

Then, go a week without porn but continue to masturbate and orgasm.

Then, go a week without orgasm but continue to schedule time for porn.

Ultimately, you should get to a point where you are more in control of your behavior.

Go two weeks without porn, orgasm and masturbation. See how it feels.

Other tips:
When desiring to look at porn or masturbate, try meditation or prayer.
Cultivate a few hobbies because of your amazing sex drive. Music, exercise, and relationships;

Show the world how much you can accomplish for no other reason than your amazing sex drive that you have learned to redirect to activities and hobbies that further benefit you and others.

Finally, occassionally, once in a while, go ahead and express yourself in a very sexual manner as a way to reset your body clock. You deserve it.

This process could probably take three months to get to the point where you are in good control of your urges to view porn and masturbate.

Also, I find that reducing porn viewing allows me to better appreciate the beauty of the woman I see in person. Quite nice.

Other people have had

success with a long period (one-two months) of complete abstinence from porn/orgasm/masturbation. This "cold turkey" approach is tough, but can be best for those for whom an orgasm causes a relapse into a porn binge.

Right now, all three of these activities may be closely associated in your brain's wiring, so one becomes a cue for the others. Staying away from all three speeds the natural rewiring process.

Good luck!

cold turkey

I have been "cold turkey" on MB and O for 40 days, as of tomorrow. I don't think I could have done this without my wife's support and encouragement. I have been extremely productive in organizing my life over this time. I was looking at a small amount of erotica on the Internet, but we have agreed to stop this too. My advice: find other stuff to do and focus on your health.

It is certainly subject to the individual

Some people may be able to do one partially, or such. A lot depends on the individual and how the porn, masturbation, and orgasm are linked to each other.

For me, I knew I had to totally get rid of the porn to be successful. So that is gone (again!). And Monday will begin day one after this last little episode. But it has become an orgasm aid, and its affects on me are such that I would tend to lose control. So I had to cut that off completely. Otherwise, I wouldn't be successful in controlling masturbation.

But the masturbation, I felt I could work on self-control with that in a more gradual manner, of saying, "You can do it during this time, but not at this time." And so far, that has worked. We'll see how effective training it is once I abstain for longer periods of time. But I've (surprisingly) not fallen off the wagon, abstaining when I said I would.

But I know not everyone is like me. That may work for me, but for someone else masturbation triggers a decent into porn. For others, porn triggers a decent into masturbation, they are so closely linked. For me the former was more accurate.

And the degree you are addicted to something also plays into it. Sometimes if there is a control, a gradual approach can lessen the withdrawal affects. Like the smoking patch that fed your body ever decreasing amounts of nicotine to make it easier to wean yourself off cigarettes with minimal side affects.

But on something like porn and masturbation, there are few external controls, and if you are truly addicted to them, it will be near impossible to just do it partially and expect to get freed. So the degree of addiction can be a determining factor, as well as external controls that can prevent one from doing it when you've agreed not to. Self-control has to be in place.

For many, they will simply have to go cold-turkey. Would the gradual approach be better? In my opinion, yes. But I knew few will be able to pull it off successfully. That's where a person has to evaluate where they are at, what they feel they can do, and make their decision on the best method to proceed.

And don't be afraid to experiment. It's easy to see if the gradual approach can work. Give it a try for a week and see if you can follow it. But if you find yourself drawn to porn when you masturbate even though you said you wouldn't, it would be an indication that you need to go cold turkey. Some will be able to pull it off, but many will not.

Addicted too!

Hi there, first time poster, long time fan of masturbation and porn (not necessarily in that order). Which is why I am here... I realised that porn and the compulsive masturbation that resulted from viewing it was not only limiting what I felt I could achieve in life, but was beginning to take its toll physically and emotionally in that I became irritable, began seeing my partner's flaws, had no energy and just felt depressed in general. I had heard that low dopamine could be a cause for my symptoms and googled it... which brought me here.

I've realised now that I may indeed have a problem. I've used porn to masturbate since my mid-teens (I'm now 30) and like many others thought I wouldn't need it when I found the right girl and we moved in together. Oh how wrong I was! Whilst she has some idea of my proclivities towards porn and masturbation and seems okay with it (she used to use it herself on rare occasions but recently has been suffering low libido, but that's another story...), I've pretty much kept it from her just how much I use it.

We had a bit of a conversation the other night in bed and I alluded to the fact I have been masturbating "regularly" and what I had learned about the possible side effects of orgasm, and it was wonderful! Just having that little heart to heart made me feel closer to her, in a way we haven't been in a while...

So, I've decided I'm going cold turkey, for a while at least; no porn, no masturbation, no orgasm. To show myself more than anything that I'M in control. I'm not saying I'm never going to look at porn or masturbate again because I just don't believe that's realistic. So I'm aiming to go one month and then reassess the situation. It's Day 3 and I've had a headache and sick feeling in the pit of my stomach as my brain screams at me for it's "fix". This is gonna be tough...Wish me luck and good luck to you guys out there too! We can do this!

Hi Delta

Thanks for your post...and for your courage in trying something new. Not sure if you noticed this article, but daily bonding behaviors with your sweetheart can REALLY ease those withdrawal symptoms. When my husband and I got together he went cold turkey (from frequent masturbation, though not porn), and thanks to the bonding behaviors, we laughed through most of the adjustment.

The daily efforts can be short - be sure to read the husbands' remarks at the end.

You're enabled to blog, so fee free to start your own thread there, too.

And thanks for your courage in facing the withdrawal.