This is the only form of orgasm that still occurs for me. It still seems to have terrible consequences. Anywhere from 12 hours to 4 days later I have a really, really bad night -- where I feel ready to give up everything. The two dominant thoughts I have are "It doesn't matter" and "Just stop trying".
I'm really wondering if there is a way to medicate myself into never having orgasms, ever. I'm sure it could be accomplished surgically. The downside is just way too down for the minute upside. The fact that they happen in my sleep and fragment my sleep itself, and are out of my control, makes it even worse.
Marnia, I have encountered a huge amount of resistance to your work in the mainstream. I see a clinical social worker for issues of anxiety and she was downright hostile to the idea of controlling orgasms. My best male friend won't crack the book. The woman I am sort-of kind-of seeing asked about the book, a few months ago, and in subsequent discussions has not taken it seriously.
I basically don't see what the point is. Yes, I would love to be in a relationship like the ones described in the book, with lots of bonding behaviors and that happy chemical glow, and I have experienced a bit of bliss and euphoria when I get that chemical lift. But Marnia, I wonder if some people are at such a low default neurochemical set-point that getting into this experience -- orgasm denial followed by accidental orgasm followed by terribly low valleys of depression -- especially when coinciding with external stresses from work or the environment -- is not going to paint a pretty picture.
I am pretty despondent right now and really feel like throwing in the towel. I am sure other men who, like me, may have struggled with anxiety and or addiction have been in similar places. I think a lot of men who find themselves addicted to porn or orgasm probably started that practice because it was the only reliable method they had of continually re-setting their dopamine levels of something approaching "normal" where they could function like everyone else in the world.
I hate feeling like this; it is like being crippled; I want it to end.