I have come across this web recently and as I and my husband in 33-years-long marriage do tao sex in the last couple of years, I would like to share our experience. We repaired our marriage thanks to this way of soft and caring sex and started our way of transformation. Problems haven´t disappear but life is real, here and now, and our souls are dancing in Light.
My first impression about karezza here is very nice and apparently it is THE way to sacred sex and the Divine similar to taoistic and tantric practices. But I am a little puzzled by almost total lack of real techniques here - how to work with breath, muscles, energy building, energy flow etc.( Or perhaps it is somewhere here but there is so huge amount of information that I missed it. ) How is it possible to follow the most difficult practice just by the idea in one´s head? It feels like the difference between bliss of medieval mystics (e.g.Theresa of Avila my favorite), who experienced the moments of total extasy by random and could not work with them at all, suffering painfully, and yogis, who could decide and freely choose the moments going deeper and deeper /or higher and higher. After years of practising we have defined two areas of possible problems for new adepts:
1. I do not think that the clash between orgasmic and non-orgasmic sex is that hard. To be able to ride the wave freely and with joy, you must be able to know your body and reactions fully and then you can freely choose what to do. When the couple agree and have normal traditional sex once every few months, it is perfectly ok. Orgasm is also gift from God and we can enjoy it without guilt, regret, fear etc. No extremes are healthy. We feel that with this approach you are free as individuals and as a couple. Without orgasm we feel special and with orgasm we feel ordinary, but we prefer common sense, not collecting "points" :-)... But of course we decide beforehand. It never happens by chance, we choose.
2. I am sure now that feminine sexual energy has totaly different dynamics from the masculine one. Masculine energy drives and directs with clear purpose, that is why men fulfill their "mission" if they master the ejaculation call and "tame the horse". But feminine energy loves to flower, flow, sing, and surrender. You as a woman can never really surrender if you know that you must not have orgasm. It is contadictory. (After a year of strict tao practice I felt like a soldier, tough, strong, shining - but very masculine. )I discovered that to be able to surrender I have to dissolve in my man´s arms, in God´s arms and to give up any control. In most cases I now experience something what is called body orgasm in tantra - sweet tide in the whole body, full, warm, grateful light in every cell of my body. I have met more couples, where woman had quit this life and relationship, being "motivated" by the man to be non-orgasmic. One told me: "for centuries we women were not allowed to be passionate because of false morals and now because it is something awful or dirty". The real art of man is to hold the line, not ejaculate, and give his woman orgasm if she wishes. That is the test of his love, and not easy. But when I found out that he is able to do it in this way, I was free.