K9 Website

Submitted by kosokoso on
Printer-friendly version

Hello everyone I'm pretty new to this whole process and decided to go cold turkey around the 20th of April. I lasted for two weeks without porn and very little masturbation =) but on the 15th day I suddenly relapsed. =( During those two weeks I experienced many moments of clarity and a stronger awareness of my habit as well as feelings of spiritual growth. It was one of the greatest weeks of my life both on a physical, psychological, and spiritual life. Yet despite making it past two weeks, I suddenly relapsed on the 15th. Relapses have continued and my porn abstinence is becoming weaker and weaker. At this point I realize the damaging effects porn has both to my mind, and to the people I interact with. I now believe porn played a strong role in the relationship problems I have been having with my girlfriend as well as my strong mood swings. This is why porn is so scary for me, in that it resembles a drug but takes on a whole different form. Ultimately I am not only doing this for myself but for the people I love, my friends, my girlfriend, my parents, and anyone I interact with! even if there not aware of the addiction because these people are affected by my moods and state of mind. Thus these relapses have taught me I need to try harder to overcome this and that I need the support of a community like this one. I have decided to install the K9 software after seeing it recommended by members on the forum, but need someone to hold the password. I know it can be difficult holding a responsibility like this one, but I really need the help. If someone would like me to hold their password please just ask, I would me more than willing to do so. Anyways much love to everyone and stay strong!

Good resolve and commitment.

Good resolve and commitment.

"Relapses have continued and my porn abstinence is becoming weaker and weaker"

Get used to this recovery process not taking a linear path. Once you discover it, its not a matter of whether you are moving forward or backwards, but how fast you moving forward. You started on the 20th of April for the first time in your adult life to go without porn and the first time you pull off 2 weeks, and then you feel bad about not being able to maintain that? I would be congratulating myself if I were you. You are embarking on a difficult endeavor. Your mind is misconceiving your situation right now, its going to look at your recovery in the worst light. It seems pretty consistent for people in recovery to be doing this.

Youre being proactive and trying to make this work. Its different for everyone here, but its a matter of figuring out what is going to work for you. Experiment and try out some things. Yes, the k9 is a great place to start. The more time away from the porn the better right now. Despite your relapses, youve probably spent less time in pornville since the 20th than you have most of your life. Its easy for me to see because Im not in your shoes and I have said what you are saying to yourself so many times. It wasnt true though, your recovery is taking place under all of this struggle and muck. You are forming new habits. keep up the good work and keep us informed of how you are feeling, trust me, your thoughts and experiences help out a lot of people.

I would volunteer to hold you or anyone else's password if needed. I installed k9 on my computer as well and I have someone holding my password. It has helped a lot. I have found ways around it at times, but it just means I need to be more vigilant and try to find ways to outsmart myself. No big deal, its a process, it might take a while.

Courage is knowing what not to fear.

Hello. I'm new on this site

I'm new on this site and I would like to wellcome all. I have installed K9 on my 2 computers and I'm looking for someone who could hold 3 passwords for me (2 for K9 and 1 for BIOS). Then I could destroy the passwords physicaly, so I couldn't watch any porn. This would help much with my recovery process.

I can help

I would be happy to hold the passwords for you. You can post them for all to see, or send a private message. Of course I will keep them confidential AND work with you on keeping you porn free.

My only caution is that while I am a regular reader of the Reuniting site, I can't say that I'd be available ALL the time in case you wanted the passwords.

Please share also the circumstances you'd like as far as being able to retreive them. Do you want to just be able to ask? Would you want me to give you a cautionary coaching speech? Do you want me to make you wait a week to "earn" them? etc.