I'm new to this website and especially new to abstinence for the purpose of achieving sexual balance. I'm really thankful this forum exists and I've purchased "Cupid's Poisoned Arrow" and am making my way through it. I'm happy because I didn't think it was possible to go without masturbating and orgasming (with or without porn) for this long. I'm 33 and I've struggled with porn for 3 years and have "quit" more times than I can remember. I'm glad to know that this is a common experience for people who want to rid themselves of porn.
Today I am writing because I still dating women. I've been seeing a great girl for a couple weeks and we make out at the end of our dates. Last night we kissed and held each other for maybe a half hour and I involuntarily achieved erection (everything seems to still be working down there.) Problem is I've probably had blue balls for 24 hours now! Haha I can laugh about it even as I experience it. This experience has taught me that I can overcome any obstacle in this endeavor, even real, long term discomfort.
Normally, getting back from a date like this the answer would be simple: fire up the computer, hunt for some porn, get off and go to bed. This time I just went to bed. I think I'm still in a state of heightened arousal and that's the cause of this. It was a warm day on the East Coast and a lot of revealing clothing was worn by some really attractive "novel mates."
I noticed that I was "looking" at women more today and probably flirting more. I also routinely surf dating websites and subscribe to at least one of them and I've identified this behavior in the past as a trigger for wanting to watch porn. Yet I still want to find someone to have a real relationship with so I rationalize using the websites to do that rather than simply find someone to have sex with.
I looked up the Wikipedia entrance on Blue Balls:
"The easiest way to relieve the symptoms of blue balls is ejaculating. The resultant ejaculation jump-starts the sympathetic nervous system, which increases blood flow through the penis area, dissipating the fluid buildup. Even without orgasm, the symptoms of blue balls usually subside within an hour of onset, but they can also last much longer, up to 12 hours or longer in men older than 40."
Clearly, after making it without orgasm for two weeks masturbating to orgasm without porn is out of the question. I'm really trying to make it at least six weeks you know, trying to take the cure. It's not unbearable just uncomfortable and I know I'll calm down sooner or later, I won't see that woman for at least another week...unless I find someone else in between.
Thanks to anyone who reads this and comments. I feel a lot better just telling anyone what I'm going through.
-Dano - definitely not my real name