The Super Mario Way to Porn Addiction Recovery

Submitted by vm22 on
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I write this post because I have read some people's blogs on porn recovery and I believe many are being way too hard on themselves. Just being able to recognize you have a problem and doing something about it is the first step.

But relapse shouldn't be about starting all over again. A new mindset is in order.

I think about the Super Mario video game I use to play as a kid. Recovery is somewhat like that. You move up a level each time you play just like the game. If you fall into a pit of fire in Level 8. You don't go back to level one. You start at level 8 again.

So you have had a couple mishaps in the past week. So what? You still didn't jerk off the whole week or the past two weeks. Think about it? You are on another level compared to the ones that jerk off to porn everyday. Those people don't realize they aren't even playing the game. I sure as hell didn't either up until I found this website.

Here's another thing to ponder. Consider you abstain from P/M starting in January. Now let's say you made it to week two and relapsed. Then you made it to 4 weeks your next. Then in between you had a few mishaps. By the way, you are allowed that, we are only human. So let's say for the whole year you averaged about 1 relapse a month. That's 12 P/M month out of the whole year!!!! Now is that so bad. Some people could knock that out in a few days. Now think if you did that for 5 years. That's 60 P/M. That's pretty darn good don't you say? Imagine how your body must feel now. Your routines will slowly start to change.

You see, the game (your recovery) starts the day you decided to change your life for the better. It doesn't ever reset. You are not starting all over again each time you relapse. Each day you will get stronger and stronger. Change your mindset. Change your life.

if it were easy (addiction

if it were easy (addiction control) then rehab centres wouldn't last very long.

and yes, mario may lose his fireflower, and become a bit smaller, but he can rebuild and recoupe, try again, and this time, with more knowledge of the road ahead.

Exactly

Too true. Great post, fun to read and a great analogy. It does get rough sometimes, Mario gets harder as the levels progress doesn't it and I remember some parts of the game seemed impossible. Despair is loss of hope and this is a wicked place to be in and can lead to very dangerous situations. So whatever we do we should never ever lose hope.

Grief is a part of my recovery most of the times, I don't choose it and I don't wish it to be there. It doesn't come from shame, it's just there and I have to wait it out. It feels a lot like the grief you feel when you lose a loved one, a deep sadness in my heart, but I know it's just passing by and this gives me the courage to endure it. It really does get that rough for me.

Anyway I hope we all get to make it to the very last level and beat that ugly evil looking dude at the end and win the game.

This is a great post, I think it should be in the wiki somewhere.

Lots of love
Courage

Sounds like what I've been saying.

I've set to eventually measure my progress by how often I slip up in a period of time, say a month, quarter, year, than in number of days since my last slip up. Though it is human nature to what to know what that number is.

The analogy is good as far as that point goes, but of course with this, it gets easier as you go further, not harder. Thank goodness. :)

Agreed

The game analogy has been compared to so many things and not unrelated to this topic of avoiding P/M is meeting real women in real life!

I'm a good example. In May I managed to abstain an entire month - a first for me after years of struggle. Then on June 2 I "did the deed" but without porn so in a sense that was a triumph because in the past I would "treat" myself to some porn after not looking for that long.

Now I'm in the "passion cycle" but I'm aware of it. I don't worry about cravings or whether I'm looking at women or anything. I just know it can and will get better because I now have the experience of going without and feeling pretty damn good.

Thanks Marnia

There has been I've noticed a corresponding compensation for other dopamine providers ie: I've been drinking more lately and I don't think it's just because I'm being more social and it's summer (tend to drink more anyway when weather is warmer.) I think it could be some kind of compensation. Do you know if others have reported similar behavior? I don't even really plan on drinking to excess or anything but I don't want to experience sexual balance and then get out of whack in another area.

Yes,

others have reported that as they cut back on one way of stimulating the reward circuitry, their brains propose *other* ways. This is why we propose lots of "feel good" activities for people to turn to - things that *don't* send the reward circuitry on a roller coaster. These may sound tame, but they often work surprisingly well if you stick with them for a bit: vigorous exercise, time with others, time in nature, meditation, caring for pets, service to others, playing music or being creative, reading inspiring stuff, and so on. Let us know what works best for you.

That said, be gentle with yourself. You won't get it perfect while your sorting out the sexual challenge.