Submitted by Kalakairos on
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Hi everyone -

I am in love with a wonderful man, but he isn't sure he wants to take the karezza path because he hates having blue balls. How do you avoid this condition? Any tips or techniques? I really want to stay in love...

Thank you

Kalagirl

Recovery of Blue Ballls...

Kalagirl,

I found the symptom of blue balls is temporary as your body adjusts to your new patterns... Sorry, do not think you can avoid blue balls if you find that if you are over stimulated without a release. If you take it slowly and do not overstimulate then there is very little pain. (Trust me, if over-stimulation was as little as an erection then all us guys would have to release every time we got a boner...which is not the case.) Your man will have to get used to it. Look at Karezza as an enjoyable mutual message where you can feel each others energy. I have found that I no longer get the aches & pains after a few weeks.

Original Sponge.

He must want to take this path

Do all you can to educate him. Use logic, science and whatever else to takes to help him understand. He only knows the way he has been taught. Having said that, I suspect anyone in the early stages of a relationship would have a hard time not being driven by the Coolidge effect.... Is he willing to let his sexual desires mature as the relationship endures and the heat subsides? That is the question. In the meantime, perhaps you can limit his orgasms and have none of your own. Show him the way....

The reason

Cupid's Poisoned Arrow has a three-week program is to make it easier for couples not to go for The Edge. It therefore decreases the chance of blue balls. Karezza isn't just normal sex minus the ejaculation. It's a much slower, more playful experience.

Have fun with your explorations!

I'm not going to lie, blue

I'm not going to lie, blue balls suck. Blue balls suck when you have to jog back home after getting them. It seemed when my mind had the thought of sex was to come it got ready for it, and when it didn't it got the moody blues. When I am just going with the flow and being close to girls without the idea that a romp is near, it doesn't seem to happen. That said, it seems like many things, in ones head.

~If you never have to chase, then you have already won the race.

blue balls

I have a theory that the longer one goes without orgasm the easier the blue balls are to handle. I had blue balls for two days straight in my first two weeks of quitting orgasm. I can't say that I haven't experienced it since, I have experienced it numerous times over the course of about two months and have had only three orgasms in that time. It's all about the stimulation that one is used to and then if what one is getting is way lower then sometimes the smallest stimulus can produce some achy loins! So if a guy is used to that high level of stimulation and then attempts to switch to Karezza, there are definitely going to be "growing pains" involved. Hopefully the person is also really into the idea. I have never had sex the Karezza way for the record but I want to try it with a partner when I find one.

Hey there is no reason why during the time you guys are having orgasmic sex (like everyone else) you couldn't do the exchanges. I think the basics like prioritizing non-sexual touching, gazing into your partners eyes and holding that gaze, and other bonding behaviors are extremely powerful and bring people together no matter what kind of sex you have. That for me was a big take away from my first reading of Cupid's Poisoned Arrow. Obviously, it would be cooler with Karezza but those exercises could help get things going in the direction you'd like to go.

Cheers

A couple of solutions

Every once in a great while when I experience a mild case of blue balls there are a couple of techniques I have used. One is to sit on the edge of a chair with your back straight. Take deep breaths and draw the energy up on the inhale. Its a pretty easy visualization. About five minutes will do it. Another simple solution is to run cold water over your genitals.

Darryl

Thank you

Thank you all for your help and advice. I think this process is going to be a lot slower than I originally imagined! We went with Dano C's suggestion, it was the logical one anyway. Peace out : )