Sensitivity to stimuli

Submitted by freedom on
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Lately, I've noticed an increase in mental and maybe physical (who knows what is not in the brain) sensitivity lately. Even relatively small things can set me off. Semi-benign things like blogs or articles can do it. Sometimes it is just my own mind. Sometimes little thought is needed. Sometimes almost no physical stimulation is needed. It is nearly all in the mind. This seems to be some sort of brain trick (maybe trying to find substitutes for P), but it is making it hard to get in a good test period of abstinence. I've gone about three weeks before. I'm trying to do it again to further explore how I feel. I haven't gotten past a week since the three week period. It does seem that external circumstances have a significant impact on the level the brain might go to get what it wants. I observing the moment, but I seem a bit stuck at present.

Any tips for dealing with this heightened sensitivity?

Others have mentioned the sensitivity bump. For those with partners, does this impact you in the same way? A different way? I realize that one can't compare being with a partner to not being with a partner, but it seems too much sensitivity might be bad when with a partner (maybe I'm just mis-programed to think that way).

I know what you are talking

I know what you are talking about. My body would just do its own thing and with little to no help from me. It still does sometimes but not that much. It would cause me to slip or just give in. The feelings and emotions or what ever were just so strong there was no way not to give in. It is in the mind. For me I had done so much for so long. It is part of the withdrawals. The body and mind are looking for its fix/meds. It is so wired to those feelings and thoughts. It just causes so much pain. At least for me it just hurt so much. It is a weird kind of mix I think. What you are talking about. All of it together causes that extra sensitivity to physical feelings to images to just every thought that is even remotely sexual. It is the brain just pushing for its meds anyway it can. Not sure there is really an easy way through it. Me I just got to the point where I could take the pain of it. It hurt very much but some how I got through. Persistence.

Only tips I can give are to avoid as many triggers as possible. I cut out TV and limited myself to a few websites. I could not take random images that popped up on sites like youtube or even my freaking email on yahoo. I just avoided as much as I could it really does help. It is one of the big reasons I got past 2 weeks. Distraction is another talked about here. It also helps. Find many things to help with that. It is hard I know. Once some of those thoughts get going It just is near impossible to stop them. It takes time and persistence to get a handle on them.

The other thing I keep talking about. I think the site having this set up is good. Courtly companions. It really does help if you can find one. Talking one on one with some one of the opposite sex that is understanding of what you are going through is so very healing.

Hope this was helpful
Wishing you well
Be Safe
James

"Cues"

are amazingly powerful. This makes sense because, remember, the brain wires pathways from anything/any memory it associates with "reward" directly to the reward circuitry so it starts releasing dopamine. When your dopamine is low (or receptors for it are low), a sudden jolt of dopamine can put you on autopilot...easily.

So you're normal. Wink Do your best to keep yourself feeling good using other tools: daily bonding behaviors are great medicine, so are meditation, exercise, friendly interaction...you know the list. Smile Find what works best for you. Don't try to wrestle with the cues.

Also check out this wiki: http://www.reuniting.info/node/3335

and this link from it:
http://www.innergold.com/pdf/igc%2010com.pdf

The sensitivity to stimuli

is my favorite part of it. It is a blessing and your reward for holding your sexual energy. The orgasm will find you if you don't find it. You might just end up awash in pleasurable sensations when you least expect it. That happens to me. I have even had energy orgasms from holding onto this energy. I know some here think all o's should be avoided but these ones seem to take me to spiritual higher places. I'd say don't fight it. Accept it and feel it.

Even the "negative" feelings might be insights pointing out to you things you need to change.

I understand what you are

I understand what you are saying. I think you may be missing it or I am confused. When we talk about stimuli It is more images and stuff that set off our addictive tendencies which are not healthy. I think what you are talking about it is healthy stimulation. See a lot of the stimuli we talk about is not good for me or most of the others here. It is an addiction we have to deal with. I have lost myself with this addiction. I need to avoid stimuli as much as possible and I am talking about images and porn and just adds and the way things are worded stories just everything that can set off my addiction. I turn it all into something unhealthy and self destructive.

I do not think most of us here are wanting to avoid orgasm forever. I do want to get rid of masturbation. Like I have porn. You have to understand that I am addicted to it. I used it to cover all feelings. I just could not cope without it. That is no way to live. I let myself slip back into M and O the last month or so. Everyone else could see what happened to me. It is easy to see how destructive and negative I get while having Os. It may not be that way for ever. I have to avoid them like many others here for awhile to get some kind of balance back. It is not that we are against orgasm it is just we used it as a drug. Just like a drug or alcohol addiction. Or any other addiction. It is not a healthy thing we do with it. If you are in balance yes I am sure it is healthy to have one and let it be.

I can not do this. Once I start having them I binge. I then spend a few days out of control with it. Having 6 to 10 a day while masturbating to porn for 8 hours while having that many Os is just not good. That is where I was at. They is why I have to continue to avoid cues triggers and what ever else including Ming and Os for an extended period of time. I need to get to a balanced state where I can have an O and not lose control like I have done for the last 25 years.

I let this addiction ruin my life for the last 25 years. Nearly destroying me. If you have not you can read my blog to see what it has done to me. I can not use O or M in a healthy manner yet. It may never be possible. Now when I get a partner if Os happen they happen they just will not be my goal. I just need to eliminate M'ing from life it is the only way for me to get a life. That short burst of pleasure is not worth it any more to me. Trust me I have had enough Os for anyone probably for 50 people combined. If I miss out on a few it is not a bad thing.
I am sure I will have them in the future and hopefully it will not be compulsive like it has been my whole life.

So I will be avoiding as many triggers and cues as possible. going as long as I think I need to without Os not because I think Os are evil. It is the only way for me to get healthy and balanced and what I want out of life.

If you do no read my blog, here are the basics. 25 years of M'ing and Os multiple times a day. up to 10 to 12 a day some days. 15+ years of just heavy porn use and addiction. As much as 8 to 10 hours in one day and that was not unusual amount of time for me over the last 5+ years.

What this did to me. Increased shyness and anxiety to exteme levels. Isolated me for years and years more and more isolation as time went on. I have never been on a date. I have never kissed a gir/women. I have never had a relationship. I have never even kissed a girl/women. I am still a virgin at 37. I have let all this eat at me to the point where I am just completely messed up. I am much better now.
I have gotten some balance back. I am getting much better really.

So again I understand the confusion about how we talk about Os and stuff here. It is just many of us guys have no choice. We can not control ourselves yet. It is not our fault. It is the nature of it all. We are all learning to deal with our programming. We are all seeking balance and what that means for us.

So you have to understand where some of us are coming from. What we have been through. What we are dealing with. I would love to have Os any time I wanted or felt like it. I just can not. Not yet. I have to abstain for now. We will see what the future holds for me and the others here. We are not trying to say M'ing and Os are evil just that we have to avoid them for awhile.

Sorry got long winded there.
Not attacking what you are saying. I just needed to give my point of view on it and what I deal with when it comes to M and O

Wishing you well
Be Safe
James

I see what you're saying Seeker

I don't have porn stimuli to relate to. I was referring to the heightened senses stimuli and the straight up physical sexual arousal, that comes from avoiding orgasm. For me, a lot of it has just been coping with and accepting myself in that state. I wish you both the very best in your quest for balance and experience with abstaining. I applaud you all the way for your efforts and getting closer to your inner wisdom.

It seems like there are two distinct

phases. When the brain is in balance, sensitivity increases and feels great. When it's not yet, the increase in sensitivity isn't felt right away. But "withdrawal" symptoms are. It's likely that some mechanism like the one described in this article accounts for this difference. http://www.reuniting.info/has_evolution_trained_our_brains_to_gorge_on_f...

It's important to keep in mind that people here are in very different phases, so advice that may be helpful in one phase is not very relevant in another.

This advice would have helped me

at a much earlier phase. I can't begin to count the number or orgasms I've given myself just so that I wouldn't feel horny. So that I could feel "acceptable" to interact with people. This comes with feeling discomfort of sexual arousal instead of accepting and enjoying it. It was something I had to consciously learn to enjoy. I didn't like the wetness. I didn't like all of the feelings all of the time, but accepting it has helped me greatly in going longer without orgasm. I no longer feel it's something I have to "take care of" it can just be.