Porn Addiction and Erectile Dysfunction?

Submitted by Miami_305 on
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Here's my story... Im only 23, eat healthy, exercise regularly, and not to sound conceited but I look good. I have no problems being social with women but when it comes time for sex i have an inability to obtain/maintain an erection. I also have a low sex drive. I have to pop sex pills about an hour before a "sexual encounter" and you obviously cant predict all encounters which makes this really inconvenient. All this is having a negative effect on my relationships and self-esteem as a man.

I've tried everything, I went to the doctor - my T levels are normal, blood pressure is fine - he said it might be psychological which is not the answer I wanted. The only time i have no problem getting an erection is when i look at porn. I've been masturbating to porn regularly (4-5x a week at least?) since I was 12 years old and when I stumbled across Marnia's article (at http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201003/porn-go...) I connected the dots.

I mean it makes sense, I'm so used to watching these porn fantasies that when it comes to REAL sex my little man wont perform. It's like I conditioned myself to only be aroused by jacking off and watching videos. I also noticed that over the years my erections (even with watching porn) are becoming less rigid and Im starting to become desensitized with "normal" porn and have to view stuff thats more "hardcore". This is all embarrassing but at the same time it feels good to get it off my chest and know I'm not alone. I am officially DONE with porn, and Marnia I wish I would have read your article a long time ago.

My question is, do you think I'll be able to fully recover from this? Or will I be permanently "desensitized"? I plan on abstaining from porn/masturbation as long as possible and reporting any results so that it could possible help/encourage others. If any are going through what I'm going through or can offer advice please chime in...

take a look at the wiki.

take a look at the wiki. http://www.reuniting.info/wiki

No I do not believe you are permanently desensitized. I have fully recovered from my ED problems. Some of that in the article is my experience. I wake with an erection and usually a very strong one. That never happened while I was using porn and M'ing every day.
Now I think I am at what would be considered normal as far as sleeping/night time erections go. I mean I get them if I get too relaxed now no need for sleep or stimuli. I know I have them through out the night now. Again that was not the case for years and years of my porn use. It was a bit shocking and actually difficult to get used to.

Lots of good information in the wiki on porn.

Wishing you well
Be Safe
James

You aren't the only one.

[quote=Miami_305] I've been masturbating to porn regularly (4-5x a week at least?) since I was 12 years old and when I stumbled across Marnia's article ...[/quote]

Hey man welcome. Just take a look around this website there are hundreds at least who come through here.

So if you started when you were 12 (a very impressionable age) and you are 23 now you have been consuming porn for more than a decade of your life. No wonder you have progressed to more hardcore material.

Not being able to get it up is just one of the many problems correlated with porn. I remember I was trying to have sex with this girl just a few months ago and I was very attracted to her. I hadn't had sex in months before we started our fling yet there she was in the flesh right in front of me and I could only achieve erection if we were doing it the way I liked, the way I had fantasized about with porn. I knew there was a connection to jerking to porn and my performance problems.

You will recover if you stick to your guns. Just know that it won't be easy at first but the longer you stay away the easier it gets and the more you will learn about yourself. Your personal history will take on new dimensions. There will be ups and downs of that I'm sure because I'm living them too. You shouldn't worry about having stumbled across Marnia's ideas any sooner because you are still a young person. A great companion to Marnia's book is Norman Doidge "The Brain That Changes Itself." It has a chapter on porn and sexuality and gives a lot of scientific reasons as to how you will and can get better. Stay hopeful. Check in. Don't worry so much. You will be fine if you give this an honest try.

You may also want to identify people in your life whom you can trust with this new discovery about yourself. I was able to tell a few people and it makes me feel better when I can tell them what I'm going through. Only trustworthy friends who have your back should be considered for this privilege.

In conclusion don't take it too seriously. I'm mean c'mon...many of us got here because we jerked off waaaaaaaaaaaay too much so you gotta be able to laugh about that some of the time!

@James

@James

Forgive me if it's none of my business but were you able to have a successful "encounter" with a female since you stopped? I'm almost afraid to try in the future (without the use of pills).

I'll check out the wiki

@Dano_Clarke

@Dano_Clarke

I'm going to try, I actually won't have any problems resisting the urge to surf porn now that I know its effects. I want nothing to do with it... And I've told my girlfriend (about my ED problems, not the porn), and I was a little scared to at first. But I was surprised at how casually she took it, she said it's nothing to be ashamed of and that we can experiment different ways to help me get over it. I don't know if I can bring myself to tell her about my past 10 years of habitual wanking lol.... It seems a little too embarrassing.

Anyways thanks for the encouragement man, I plan on reporting my results (if any) back here on a monthly basis. In addition to completely quitting porn I'm going to bump up my exercise/gym outings to 4-5x a week, eat healthier and get more sleep. Hopefully the combination of all this will help
"cure" me within the coming months.

Wanking!

You're the first person here to use my favorite euphemism for masturbation. I actually searched the site to see if anyone else had used it before.

Quizure

Hey Miami,

Good luck with the transition. Glad you're putting the pieces together. Start your own blog if you like.

I can add nothing to the good advice here. You're being well looked after.

Some advice.....

Dont go back and check to see if "everything working". For example, don't go and watch a p video just to see if it will work once again. One thing i have learned, if you don't get away from the porn it will hurt you. I stopped looking at porn, and cut down sexual fantasy alot, then i found that paying attention to real everyday women helped. Eventually you can start to become aroused by them again. It took me a while to realize, but if your contstantly MB to these Porn images, then regular stuff just wont be as exciting. If you can get away from the images, things will slowly but surely start to turn around.

Putting things in perspective, months back someone i know told me he was MB with P almost once a day, he said however he stopped, i asked him why he told me that he felt he was losing his desire for his partner. There are alot of stories popping up all over the internet that relate to yours, and alot of people saying once they quit the porn things went back to normal.

The one thing you have to realize is that when the sexual urges come, if you don't have a partner, learn to harness that sexual energy into something else. This is were i and i believe alot of ppl make mistakes, its tough to handle the urges. I'm not saying dont ever MB again, maybe occationally it wouldn't be a problem after a detox period (a couple weeks no MB) but leave the porn away.

@SportsGuy2259

@SportsGuy2259

I understand, I've tried to quit before but sometimes I convinced myself that I needed to "check in" to see if my little man was still working. Sometimes I'd use it as an excuse to justify what I was doing. The mentality of "I know I quit but one more time won't hurt, I need to use it or lose it anyways right", and then I'd spiral back down to my normal frequency of MB and P.

As a side note, I wish this issue got more attention. I've read different sites/forums online and it seems there are literally thousands out there with the same problems... And probably thousands more who are just too embarrassed/prideful to share it, or simply don't realize their ED problems might be P/MB related. It makes me mad when I see some people commenting (not here obviously) that poor sexual health couldn't possibly be linked to MB and P, since there's no studies on it, no history of it, man has MB since the beginning of time, etc etc. But it's like they overlook that the internet, especially broadband and quick access to large video files are a relatively new phenomenon - mankind has never been exposed to stuff like this in history. And P is just getting more and more hardcore ("dirty") it seems, and access to it all this is just getting easier and easier.... Sorry I'm ranting.

It seems the biggest jump for the worse

arrived when free porn vids became stream-able with high-speed internet. And you're right that this phenomenon is so new that research hasn't begun to catch up with it. In any case, traditionally porn research is done with questionnaires. The way questions are asked is key...and unfortunately my sense is that they tend to be asked by one "side" or the other, not by neutral investigators. I think that if researchers really wanted to get at the truth, they should set up something like "The Great Porn-Off" http://www.cracked.com/article_15725_great-internet-porn-off.html

For meaningful results, the right questions have to be asked...of people who are not in denial about the effects, and who are observant enough to realize their brains' pleasure response is growing number (if it is). However, few addicts are forthcoming about their problems until they hit a wall, so denial is probably common among those polled.

Frankly, I think it won't be until researchers start to do research on the brain that we get past all the bogus propaganda by both extremes and understand objectively how superstimuli can dysregulate the brain.

Meanwhile, people will just have to make their own experiments and learn for themselves.

How are you getting along?

@Marnia

@Marnia

So far so good, this is my sixth day since I last MB - no urge to relapse yet. I am trying not to get my hopes too high about recovery because I know it will take months (maybe more?) to "reboot" my system after engaging in this detrimental activity for almost 11 years.

I just fear that I may have done permanent damage from doing what I did for so long... but I will suppress that thought because I know that anxiety and nervousness about past failures won't help my future sexual encounters with women. Hopefully a couple months from now I can return to this site with a success story that will encourage others in my situation that there is hope.

Be optimistic

The problem may correct itself faster than you think.

however, I'm beginning to see a pattern here that suggests you may never be able to go back to porn...without rapidly having your brain fall into the old groove. So you could be headed toward a porn-free future. However, you'll have less and less competition for actual women, and more and more desire for them. Smile

Young and Wise

Props to you for taking care of this problem at such a young age. I'm 42 now, but wish I could go back to when I was 23 and put a stop to my P/MB addiction.