Giving Up

Submitted by troubled12 on
Printer-friendly version

Hi, ive been in a masturbation/porn cycle for the last 5 years. Ive spent so long trying to fight it that now ive given up hope. I sacrificed my friends, my education and even my family for it, yet still it wants more. I dont know what to do. I have no hope left.

The depths of a fiery hell can indeed still be avoided

Only when you refuse to fight on have you lost the war, but now is not the time to wave the white flag in surrender. It has been stained in the blood and tears of many in your life and giving up is not an option. The power is literally in your hands to change, you know your enemy (very well I might add) and it wants to drown you in fire leaving you burned and helpless. You have little left to lose and a world to win back, this is trench warfare you cannot win it without expecting a real fight. There is still desire left in you yet to change, but you have to cut off the many arms that draw you back in. Until you can get the upper hand, you cannot be given the chance to slip. Block all you can on your computer, get K9 or a program to help, do the minimum on it and never give yourself free time to surf. Put it in a public place to further avoid temptation, you have to go all out and starve this cancer. You have to remain strong and go outside to see the sun and tell yourself "I am human, these machines are my slaves, not the other way around!" Get BOLD, get ACTIVE, do not submit for you are mightier than a pathetic pest you have problems swatting.

You CAN defeat this, TAKE it HEAD ON, the enemy will keep advancing, but now it is time to draw the line in the sand and FIGHT. Now is the time to get your life back that you have hit rock bottom, get pumped and just GO do SOMETHING you did besides porn. If you are at the bottom of the ocean with one last gasp of breath, let it be the war cry that parts the ocean as Mose's did to lead yourself down the path you want.

I can understand what you

I can understand what you must be going through but all I can say is there is light at the end of the tunnel. Read through the successful stories on this site. Understand whether your strategies are correct or not. try new strategies. This worked in my case. All along I was trying to fight alone but then I realized having some support will give me strength.

Just spend some time with open mind and think about it...

Remember again, there is light at the end of the tunnel

It does get easier

Hi troubled12,

I can certainly relate. I am 42 years old and have been addicted to pornography and masturbation my whole life. I have quit, failed and gave up so many times I have lost count. The worst part about this addiction is that I let it destroy every single one of my relationships. I lost the perfect woman three years ago due to this addiction and if I could go back in time to kick this habit I most certainly would.

All I can say is please do not give up. You will gain so much of your life back if you can get a hold of it sooner than later.

For what it's worth, I am currently in my most successful period of sobriety ever. It began by me embracing group therapy a couple of months ago. Attending face-to-face meetings has really helped me to avoid acting out. I am not sure if you've tried it but if not it may be something you want to look into.

Good luck!

Great reminder

Thanks for mentioning it. Real connections with real people can help a lot.

The one caveat is that "sex addicts" often get lumped in together in these groups, which doesn't work well for guys who have just been snuggling up to their computer screens. Wink Hearing lurid details about actual conquests can increase their anxiety.

So be prepared to try several groups to see where you feel comfy, T12.

Hey every1, thanks 4 all the

Hey every1, thanks 4 all the support. this addiction is so difficult to stop, but with all ur support hopefully i can make some headway. Honestly though thank you all 4 ur posts, it makes me feel as if 4 once im not alone!!!!

A couple of things. Ive

A couple of things. Ive recently been going 2 the gym. it helps me take out my anger and also makes me tired so im less likely 2 masturbate. Also cutting down on what i watch on tv. I only really watch sport, as it very rarely shows women. its quite pathetic and drastic, but ive had enough of this masturbation addiction!!!

It's amazing

how such simple things can ease the distress. It's just hard to remember them when your limbic system (in the brain) is screaming for attention.

blew it

I was going so well. I had finally reached double figures, 14 to be precise, and then I blew it. I was looking at this magazine and i saw this picture of a model. That set it off. The minute i did it I felt terrible, and now im up in my binge, and I can get out!!! I was feeling so good about myself and now its all crashing down. Im so gutted!!!

Relax.

You'll come up for air, and get back in control.

14 days is terrific. It often takes people a number of tries before they see sustained progress. Don't let this discourage you. And don't be hard on yourself.

*big hug*

Hey Marnia

14 days is a good start, especially since its been a long time since i got into double figures! the problem is that now im in a massive depression and i have to start all over again!! its this non stop cycle which really drains me! im just so fed up that even wen im on day 14, im still depressed at the fact that i should be on day 100 or something. Im angry with myself that i havent stopped earlier! the problem with that no matter what i do i cant get rid of that feeling!!

Just be proud of yourself

for figuring it out when you did! Believe me, had I been a man I suspect I would have fallen into the same trap. We're designed to go for sexual cues...because it used to improve our chances of passing on our genes.

So, in a sense, you just did what you were "supposed" to do. Be patient and gentle with your brain. It's *plastic,* but that doesn't mean it can rewire instantly...just 'cause you tell it to. Wink

Start again, and be pleased and grateful for each day of progress. Also, maybe go to the wiki and check out "Your Brain on Porn" again, or those videos. It takes constant inspiration to stay with this change at first.

*big hug*