Greetings! My wife and I have been perusing your site for a week or so and Cupid's Poisoned Arrow is on order. We are both nearing 60 years of age, and, while I'm writing in my own voice, she will be looking over my shoulder at all times. In this initial post I wanted to comment on two topics I haven't seen much about on the site: qigong and aging. For the past several years our sex life had tapered down to a very small and forlorn entity. Things were not looking very hopeful. I was finding it harder to get erections and she was suffering from vaginal dryness and pain during intercourse.
Then my wife started doing qigong. I started also almost a year ago. There were many positive results, and we have gradually increased the amount and variety of our qigong practice. It's not unusual now for us to spend one to two hours a day, every day, doing two or three sessions of qigong. In the last few months, and particularly the last few weeks, we've both found our sexual interest growing. While I've been tolerant of lovemaking without orgasm, I've always thought of orgasm as the ideal goal. Yet, as I age, I have also seen clear evidence that I cannot continue to have frequent orgasms. I was aware that Taoist practice warned about depleting one's energies through orgasm, so I googled around to see what sort of recommendations I could find about frequency of orgasm. I did find some concrete pointers suggesting that for a man of 60, one ejaculation every 10-30 days would be appropriate. Eventually--and luckily--I found this site, which put an entirely different spin on the subject.
I have been aware of Karezza for years, but the last time I investigated, there was very little concrete information on the internet. How things have changed! Through your excellent site, Marnia, we have now adopted lovemaking without orgasm or ejaculation as our ideal and have already seen amazing beneficial changes in the last week. Because I'm not exhausting my energies through ejaculation, I have no trouble getting erections whenever we make love. My wife's vagina has become as wet and welcoming as it was years ago. We've been making love once or twice most days in a very relaxed manner. I've had almost no trouble staying away from the brink of orgasm and my wife, who never achieved orgasm through intercourse anyway, has elated to have me inside her again with plenty of juice and no pain.
It's very difficult to figure out which benefits come from qigong and which come from Karezza. Of course, there are all sorts of other factors at work, too, and we're just a sample of two. Nevertheless, our guess is that much of our increased sexual energy comes from qigong and much of our ability to enjoy lovemaking comes from our new Karezza model.
I'll just add that there are thousands of different types of qigong. It's a generic term that covers an amazing array of exercises, meditations, and health practices. Marnia's descriptions of the sympathetic versus the para-sympathetic nervous systems lead me to believe that qigong, for us, is enhancing the same sort of relaxation responses that Karezza does. The only advice we would have for anyone interested in qigong is to find a highly qualified teacher and to be ready devote some serious time to your practice.
Thanks to you, Marnia, and to all the contributors here for sharing such important information. We look forward to learning more!