I've been working with my partner to decrease the frequency of our orgasms because I feel like I am more stable emotionally when I orgasm less frequently. However, this has been challenging because she still prefers regular orgasm. When we do orgasm with each other I do feel more drawn to pornography and fantasy in the subsequent days. However, I think I'm also using what I know of the dopamine cycle as an *excuse* to view porn or have fantasies. Almost as if it's her fault because she made me have an orgasm and therefore I can go watch porn or fantasize about someone.
I know that's not a proper way to look at things and fortunately I haven't had this attitude for long (I only stumbled across Marina's work a few months ago). The obvious option is not to orgasm but I do feel that's something she wants and something that she feels brings us closer. So I'm in a bit of a tough spot because I'm torn between wanting to please her and be happy and at the same time wanting to be completely free from porn and largely free from fantasy (not sure I'll ever get all the way there on that one!) and I feel that not orgasming or more infrequent orgasm is more likely to get me there.