about 3 weeks of freedom but...

Submitted by blueshirtguy on
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Hello Everybody,

I am new to this forum. Nice to see a good amount of people have gathered here under some common purposes.

Well I was about 3 weeks without doing anything and then suddenly I had a hell of exhausting day that
required me to drink coffee like all day. When I went to bed I immediately knocked out. About an hour into sleeping,
I woke up wide awake and felt this crazy urge to go look at porn again. I felt like the addiction was sleeping (for 3 weeks) until
it found a moment when I was dead tired and weak. Has anyone experienced something like this before?

Well, I am back to square one again and I guess I'll keep you guys updated.

thanks for reading!

Yes, people have noticed that

They've also noticed that it's tough to avoid bingeing once you start.

Many have noticed that there are key situations where relapse is more likely. I've seen people share two acronyms here to help you become aware of "dangerous situations":

BLAST (bored, lonely, angry, stressed, or tired) and
HALT (hungry, angry lonely, or tired)

As for the binge, have a look at this post:

"Has Evolution Trained Our Brains to Gorge on Food and Sex?"
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201004/has-evo...

Feel free to start a blog, if you like. Also, have you tried running cold water over your genitals when you feel The Urge. That technique has been recommended since ancient times. Might help you put the brakes on.

Did you notice any benefits during the three weeks, or were you struggling with withdrawal a lot?

PS

I wouldn't say you "failed." Three weeks is a great first run! It takes a while to turn the stampeding buffalo in a new direction. Wink

Thank you for those

Thank you for those tips!

Yes it seems you are correct, relapse hit me extremely hard during the day as I was extremely exhausted.

As for the benefits-

After 3 weeks of freedom, I have to say it's been a very long time since I've had a decent period of
mental and spiritual clarity. I felt much more aware and at peace with myself over time. The urges for porn
seemed to have switched gears towards real women. I've never felt so strongly to want to initiate and talk/ be around
women. I found these things quite refreshing, and is a big motivator to want to keep on pushing the limits to how far
I can cut the addiction down. Oh, and the withdrawal symptoms definitely persisted throughout the 3 weeks, but running
helped, praying and reading my bible helped as well. Hanging out with friends, and also thinking of other reasons to quit other
than yourself. Think of the potential benefits that the others around you can gain if you can overcome this and live life with all its' fullness
once more. It's a nice thought for me to dwell on once in a while.

Today in church, one thing I picked up on is that we tend to lean towards wanting to deal with other people's inner junk other than ourselves.
It is actually harder for us to deal with our own inner junk. Knowing this tends to be crucial in sustaining a healthy relationship. Both partners need to acknowledge their inner junk and be able to convey it to one another to create the openness/ transparency for a strong, healthy relationship.

Well I was thinking this can be relevant here. When I'm thinking, I find it helps when I acknowledge that I have troubles inside and that I'm sick with addiction. Be transparent with yourself and don't be tricked by your brain wanting to think everything is A- OK. Start looking at yourself like you need help and you're own body/mind/soul (whatever you believe) is in need of your care. The main point is to see everything you do, whether it be meditation, running, hanging out with friends all part of a collective act to help you heal. This will help shed light on the the things that are not beneficial to your inner healing. Once we are intact with ourselves, others around us can also enjoy the fruits of our hard work and nourishing of our minds. Breaking this addiction is above ourselves, it's for the people you love!

//end of rambling

-gnite!