How to avoid it...

Submitted by Celeste on
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I'm morally against porn for many of the reasons that this site's links describe. The violence and the promotion of abusive, power-centric models of sexuality, etc. Anyway, I hate porn and I no longer want to support it financially (directly or indirectly).

The issue is, I'm vegan (or moving towards it). I also like sex toys but it seems like there are NO places that sell sex toys that don't support porn somehow :-(. Also the only vegan non-animal tested lube our local store sells is this burning painful awful stuff that hurts.

So does this mean that if I'm morally against porn I can never buy a sex toy again? It feels like getting involved with ANY sexual products or even education programs (besides this one) directly supports porn. I hate this.

Sort of

This toy source is properly vegan and does not also sell porn:

http://www.thesensualvegan.com/

Unfortunately, the proprietor also (apparently--I have not visited it) operates a porn site with solely vegetarian/vegan 'models'. I suppose that by purchasing from the toy site, you indirectly finance the porn site by keeping the proprietor in beer money/capital.

Last year I encountered a vaguely similar ethical problem. I owned several toys, but they were incompatible with my wife's preferred modes of sex. Using the toys made me acutely aware of what I couldn't have in the flesh, and toy use and porn use were often concurrent. This whole problem caused a great deal of anguish, both for me and for my wife, who did not even fully understand what was happening in my brain. After a particularly disruptive week during which I felt more emotionally distant from my wife that I ever had, I spontaneously decided to destroy the toys. That was my first serious step toward freedom from the compulsion.

I'm certainly not suggesting that you destroy your toys or refrain from buying new ones--toys were not indispensable for me as they are for you. For me, the toys and the porn were essentially inseparable in my own immediate experience. For you, it appears that the toys are only associated with porn in your rational mind and by your ethics. I would contend that purchasing a toy is a considerably less consequential choice than e.g. eating vegan food from the supermarket vs. eating vegan food from a CSA or your garden. If your ethical decisions are grounded in utilitarianism, then it should be possible to roughly rank consumer choices based on some kind of suffering quotient. A silicone toy, for example, is actually slightly less harmful to the 'environment' since it is not solely based on petroleum like many other polymer toys. If you spend $60 on a toy, you may be financing porn, but, from this vegan site at least (christ, it sounds like I'm trying to make a commercial for them, but please trust me that I am doing no such thing), you would be financing someone who appears to be motivated by freedom rather than hierarchy. So it seems like a fairly harmless decision to purchase a toy from here. In contrast, there are many other choices that you might casually make that are probably much worse. Returning to the grocery selection example, which may seem unrelated but is basically similar, if you purchase food from a supermarket, even vegan food, you are participating indirectly in financing all of the meat-based industry also taking place at the store and/or its parent company, not to mention the intrinsically destructive industrial food system as a whole. If you are not particularly bent out of shape by this food shopping ethical dilemma (because, after all, you have to eat, and chances are you don't own enough land to grow all of your own food), then the sex toy dilemma is really minimal in comparison. If you need toys to enjoy sexuality, then the best you can do is select the least-harmful source of such items, exactly as you do with your vegan dietary choice.

We berate ourselves needlessly in many ways--giving yourself a special dispensation to buy the occasional toy from a less-objectionable source would bring you one step closer to freedom from your unique set of self-imposed tortures.

Yeah!

[quote=Brick.2nd.GiG]Returning to the grocery selection example, which may seem unrelated but is basically similar, if you purchase food from a supermarket, even vegan food, you are participating indirectly in financing all of the meat-based industry also taking place at the store and/or its parent company.[/quote]

Exactly!

Everything is interconnected. It's almost impossible to not participate indirectly in the killing of animals or porn.

Don't worry too much about that and just do the best you can.

Hmmm...

I wouldn't be so extreme with the vegan stuff. Remember, more animals are being killed by other animals than by humans.

And how are you supporting porn by buying a sex toy? I understand the 'indirect' part but the impact you'll make is minimal.

The best way to stop supporting porn is by not watching it and by making other people aware of it's negative effects. You will make 100x times more impact that way.

It's my pleasure

http://www.myspace.com/itsmypleasurepdx is a women friendly toy store in Portland, Oregon. I've been in their shop, and while they may have some things which are made from materials or from sources that you find unacceptable, if anyone knows where hand-made, cruelty free toys are available, it is the folks that run this shop.

Quizure

Because life is not about who you were, it is about who you are becoming.