I started masturbating about the age of 7, way before i even knew what it was. I use to just enjoy the feeling and kept doing it. I grew up in a violent family and was very stressed all through my childhood so i think i used this as a relief. Im 21 now. I can get an erection but masturbation just doesnt feel good; it feels forced. I even taught i was gay. I spent years avoiding gay porn because it turned me on and i didnt want to escalate it. That gave me a lot of anxiety. However for the past month i said screw it and start watching gay/ tranny porn and it was good at first but then i realised i dont really like this and thats not turning me on anymore either. I also use to also get turned on by the taught of being a woman, actually i wanted to be a female when i was younger but that has grown out of me and its also no longer a turn on.
I masturbate everyday just to ejaculate even though like i said it doesnt feel good. There kinda feels like something in my mind is blocking me from actually enjoying masturbating to nude women. I went for about a week before not masturbating and it was great, just the sight of a woman would turn me on. It was unusual because i could actually feel attraction or the aura of a woman a lot better.
Anyway, just wanted to get this out there. Im going to start right now abstaining, wish me luck!