So for anyone that's depressed and is a deep/scientific thinker, I recommend NOT reading what I have to say here, as it might make things worse (it certainly did for me). For the rest of you, read ahead at your own peril, and inspirational thoughts are welcome.
So I ordered The Brain That Changes Itself and read the chapter on tastes and loves, and although it does provide some inspiration that things can change, I had two issues with it: 1) It seems much easier to revert to old habits than form new ones. For the sexually inexperienced who have been porn/msturbation addicts since puberty, this is troubling, as I don't really have any healthy old habits to revert back to, and I fear that demonizing porn has made my brain wire itself to never want sex again. Of course, everytime I've come out of my depression during my recovery, I've been aroused by healthy thoughts, but it still bothered me, and I've been less optimistic about ever getting out of this depression because...
2) (this one's worse) Reading that book made me think that all happiness is is a bunch of chemicals in the brain. Even love is basically just an addiction to a person! Granted, that's better than addicted to yourself, but this still bothers me immensely, as it's something I never thought about before, and I guess I always viewed it as something more deep than that. I've always been a deep philosophical thinker, but this question graciously passed me by until now. Perhaps being in a depression is just making me focus on the negatives too much, but I'm afraid that everytime I'm happy from now on, I'll just tell myself "this is no different than before, it's all just your brain making you think you're happy". Maybe just since I've never been in a healthy loving relationship (other than with my parents), this seems worse than it is, and that everything will be fine when I truly find 'the one'. Of course, I would kill for my brain to let me be happy right now :/ Sorry for the somewhat scatterbrained topic, but I was just wondering if anyone else had this thought, and if there was anything specific you told yourself to stop thinking about it