I want to share with you a little bit of my story surrounding this whole porn addiction and how I got involved with prostitutes.
Most of you already know plenty of me, but here it goes again:
I'm 25 years old and I've been watching porn the last 12 years. Never really considered myself addicted until about 2-3 years ago, thanks to the rise of tube sites which make porn so easily and freely available.
I have always lacked motivation to go out and flirt with real women because porn basically drained me from all my energy.
Once I became 25 years old, the pressure of being a virgin started to increase, so I decided to lose my virginity to a prostitute.
My first time with a prostitute was very good. It was spontaneous and not planned. She was very hot too. I was feeling very horny so I decided to visit a brothel.
My horniness was stronger than my nervousness so I didn't have any erection problem.
However, I noticed something interesting. I was pounding her hard from many positions, but somehow I wasn't mentally excited enough and I didn't feel the need to cum. That is UNTIL she started talking dirty to me, and THEN I was able to cum.
I thought about this a lot and then concluded that it was related to porn. I always preferred porn with women moaning and talking dirty. Also, if I'm having sex and the woman is silent, then I have this belief that she is not enjoying herself and that I'm being bad in bed, which makes it harder for me to achieve orgasm.
Anyway, the pressure of being a virgin was mostly gone, but I still continued with my porn habits.
I continued visiting prostitutes but then I started having erection problems. I became very worried because these prostitutes were VERY hot (they looked like the top pornstars), yet I wasn't able to get it up or at best achieve semi-hard erections.
Some things I started to notice:
1) If the prostitute just laid down and let me do all the work, then I wasn't able to get an erection.
2) If the prostitute took control and grabbed my dick and started sucking it, then I was able to get an erection and have sex normally.
So I concluded that porn was definitely the cause of my impotence.
I started the 100 days without orgasm challenge. You can search for the thread here in this section.
After 15 days, I couldn't take it, the urge was SO strong that I had to go visit a brothel. I had sex with 2 prostitutes, one after the other, and didn't have ANY erection problems at ALL. Then I went home and masturbated 3 times.
2 days after that, I went to a brothel again, but this time my erection was way weaker and she had to help me out.
I lasted a total of 35 days without porn.
Then I somehow convinced myself that I was "cured" or that just a little peek wouldn't do harm. I started to watch porn again, but not very frequently, something like 3 times a week.
After some days I had a bad experience with a prostitute. Everytime I tried to penetrate her I would go soft. She then tried to make me cum with a blowjob but eventually gave up.
This whole impotence thing is very frustrating.
My plan is to abstain myself from porn and masturbating and at the same time train my brain to real sex using prostitutes.
The bad thing about having sex with prostitutes is that it is not satisfying on an emotional level.
Another alternative would be to give up prostitutes completely. The problem with this is that I probably wouldn't be able to abstain from orgasm until I find a partner, and that would take time.
Also, I have access to VERY HOT prostitutes, so deep inside I don't want to quit visiting them.
My main fear is that I know that most regular women do not act like pornstars on bed, so I'm afraid that I won't be able to get it up once I find a partner.
I am very confused and I really don't know what to do or what plan to take.
Some help would be greatly appreciated.
Getting rid of impotence and performance anxiety is the thing that I most desire.