Lost libido

Submitted by fight_the_power on
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I have for a long time now had the realisation that masturbation was effectively ruining my life. I've lost years in the mental fog and haze that is brought about by porn and masturbation. I believe I lost a long term girlfriend due to the ED and emotional impact it was having on me.

After numerous attempts I have successfully reached two weeks of no PMO and I so far feel strong and confident to continue. However in the past two weeks I have not regained my natural libido. Therefore I am a strange middle ground where I am not watching porn (gladly!) but at the same time I just seem to have no libido. It is starting to worry me a little bit.

Therefore I wanted to know from people on this site is this phase normal? Does the libido come back? How long does it normally take?

Thanks for your help!

Loss libido is a common

Loss libido is a common question from new members. I can assure you that the further you go you will find that your pecker is still fully functional. But right now it's dormant. Be patient, if you wait it out, it will come. Every person is different. But be careful what you wish for. :)

I'm just over the 2 week

I'm just over the 2 week marker too, and about 3 days ago i had a empty day so did look at a whole load of porn because i was epecially horny that day. As nice as it was I didnt O but kinda got bored of it in way because it wasnt really doing it for me quite the same.

The last 2/3 days i would say my libido has also dropped so avoiding P and M and hence O is fairly easy today. Just hope it comes back though but I dont know when to expect it!

The 2-3 marker is a great

The 2-3 marker is a great accomplishment and you will notice many significant changes in your physical sensations and mindset. As you continue to go more days the changes will seem much smaller and insignificant. Don't be mislead by this, it's just that your mind is slowly coming into balance and adjusting to what you are giving it or not giving it. Eventually things must begin to settle down. I believe at the two month mark you will see even more significant gains, although much more subtle. There is an addictive chemical that Marnia mentions that seems to linger around and doesn't fully leave until after the two month mark. Great work guys! I'm excited for you.

Lost Libido

I know exactly the feeling you mean. I've not masturbated for two weeks now and I have a feeling of sort of being un-sexed, there's just no desire what so ever. I can see women on the street and acknowledge that they are beautiful, attractive or sexy but there's no arousal to accompany it, just a kind of numbness. Not a negative numbness...just numbness.

longer than 60 or 90 days

Not to be negative, but I'm curious if anyone has restored their libido by going more than 60 or 90 days. I am on day 32, and as I've said here before, I'm quite worried that things won't be restored after 60 or 90 days, but since I've only made it day 50 before, that's uncharted territory for me.

May I suggest

that you just give yourself 60 days, without second-guessing yourself, and then see what you see? The feeling that your libido is gone and will never return is scary, but not unusual with porn-related ED, based on what men are experiencing. It seems the brain needs a long time-out to restore normal function.

Again, the bonding behaviors will help. Just your wife's loving presence will help. You are overlooking some of the best meds for your ailment...because you've overvalued today's extreme stimuli.

*big hug*

thanks

Thank you, the encouragement helps. I know it probably sounds like I have a thick skull, but your advice is sinking in slowly.

Expect

ups and downs...er. Smile

Seriously, most of these changes are not linear. The brain's balance tends to swing around a bit like a pendulum before things settle.

Still, I'm really happy for your good news.

pendulums

Yea, the pendulum already swang back:( Oh well, it was nice to feel a taste of things hopefully to come. In another post, I tried to get a handle on what kind of expectations I should have.

I agree with the pendulum theory.....

Shattered i'm just curious what you meant by the way. You meant that things came back for you for a little bit, and then they dissapeared again?

Alot of what im trying to accomplish involves libido as well. And i will say there are def ups and downs. Days where porn thoughts still arouse me some, days where real women arouse me, and days where nothing does it at all.

I will say one thing though, its better to not sexually fantasize for me. When i sexually fantasize to much i tend to have a dream orgasm every couple days, and in initial recovery i think that sets us back. I even found it easier to not look at porn when this was going on. When i don't, i dont have the dream o's. fantasy is ok a litte in my opinion, but not that much. However withdrawal symptoms are tougher when im not orgasming, which tells me that its more effective. They say sometimes to reach a certain point you have to go through some kind of physical and emotional pain, if you want results, and thats whats happening. the key getting all the porn out of your head, and as marnia mentioned, helping those dopamine receptors clean up.

yep

Yes, that's what I meant, on day 31? I felt some libido, but only on that day. Now I'm on day 36 and have no libido. So I'm pretty distressed, and I am drinking get 2-4 beers at night to help me through this. I know that's not the best thing to do, but the depression from having no libido is very difficult for me to handle.

you're right

Yes, wallowing is not the way to go. I'm going to try to give up the alcohol totally for the remainder of the challenge, and get the exercise is gear.
It's day 38, and I don't feel any libido, but I'm taking a leap of faith that my issues originate from the masturbation habit and continue this abstinence.

If you've come this far,

you may as well keep going a few more weeks. Then you'll know for sure one way or the other. I'm betting you'll see a substantial improvement.

Worst case, you have a lot of orgasms to make up for when you stop. Wink

lost libido

for others this may be good. sorry to say that if you want it back. i wonder how one can just lose it. i wonder if it is different for everybody. i hope it's not, but it probably is.