Week 16

Submitted by cyberbob82 on
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16 weeks porn free. Here's what's been happening:

* I've been making an effort not to masturbate and I haven't in 8-9 days and I do really notice the difference. It definitely makes me more outgoing and sociable. I might as well stick with it some more. I don't think masturbation is the enemy, but I do see a lot of benefit from cutting down drastically.

* My wrist is still giving me grief. I think I might actually have a hairline fracture, but even if this is true there's not much the docs can do. I'm squatting again at gym though, but still can't really do things like bench press. It should be OK by the next post. Fingers crossed.

* I'm also really getting into salsa dancing. I feel I've turned a corner and I've got a lot more confidence. Things are starting to click, even though I know I'm nowhere near good, I can still take a salsa newbie out for a spin and show her a good time. I went social dancing last Friday and must have danced with 10 girls. I wasn't really trying to actively meet women. I was more focused on the dancing itself. I'm going to start adding more nights a week dedicated to salsa now. Spanish class finishes next week, which gives me another night free. The only thing I'm annoyed about is that I didn't start doing it 10 years ago. I think I might have found my calling. Blum 3

* Something else that has stuck me is how my internal focus has shifted over the last month. It's no longer about kicking porn. I kinda feel like I've overcome that and now I'm working on other aspects of self improvement. The remain issues to tackle are insecurities about sex and relationships, which I've already mentioned. The other day it just occurred to me, and I just said "fuck it, I'm just going to stop worrying about it". I am making good progress and I believe good things will happen. It might happen next week or next year, but I'm going to meet an angel. I can feel it. I don't know why, but I feel it. It's this weird feeling of peace, that I've never really felt before.

* There's a girl in my salsa class who I'm pretty sure likes me. I don't want to jinx it by giving too much more away, but watch this space. Wink


You sound good

I think you hit on what I like about careful management of my sexual energy. It's that fundamental sense that "Things will work out just fine, whether or not there are bumps in the road. So I'm going to focus on what I can do in the moment - including service to others - and enjoy my life."

It's just an attitude shift, but I suspect it's also a neurochemical reality, and one which we have a degree of control over via sex.