Hi/intro to forums

Submitted by vintagemoon on
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My name is *** and Im 20.
I found this site recently while I was searching for some info to help me with a problem im not sure i even have. I recently started opening myself up to the world after years of shying away from it due to crippling anxiety and irrational fears. I was just finding my emotions again and how to react to them.I started making friends toward the end of my high school year and even made a nice little social life for myself. Along with my new life I managed to get a boyfriend who at the time seemed caring. I told him about my issues and he understood. We took things slow he talked more as I listened and he didnt mind it at all. We ended up dating for about 5 months before I caught him cheating on me. He explained that since I wouldnt open up to him emotionally he knew that I would never open up to him physically.
I couldnt really blame him because this was true.
Im not trying to ramble so I'll just get to my question.
Is it strange to not want any physical contact with anyone? I have had times where I craved it but the feeling passes so quickly I dont even know I felt it till I look back on it later. I would like to be able to open up to people and have a relationship. I feel that I am ready for it but after this happened with my bf i find myself thinking i am not.

if anyone can help me it would be appreciated. if theres anything you need me to clear up just let me know.


first, please don't use your real name here. (I've edited your post.) It saves me time because someday you may want to refer someone here, and then you might not want your comments to be recognizable. Smile

Second, congratulations on the progress you made in improving your social life...even if the relationship didn't work out this time around. It sounds like you've really been making an effort, and like it is paying off.

Third, how did you happen to choose this forum to ask this question? The question of shyness comes up here a lot, but we usually talk about it in relation to masturbation habits. (People often notice that when they cut back, their desire to connect with others increases.) Is this a possible issue for you? If not, you might get more relevant support elsewhere. Wink That said, you're certainly welcome here. It's just that there is so much online support available, that I want you to get the best of it for your challenge.

Hi Vintage Moon

I don't have a porn or masturbation problem personally either, but I have found that this forum is helping me immensely to gain some insight into one of the biggest sexuality issues of our time ( pornography addiction). I think its very pervasive, much more than I ever realized. And I believe porn negatively effected my past relationships.

But thats not the only reason I'm here - I am also learning about karezza and more positive ways of being in relationship, which I feel will help me form a better more lasting bond with the next man I fall in love with.

Have you read Marnia's book ? Or checked out the articles on the site?

I feel bad for you, Vintage. In some ways I can remember being like that when I was your age. Its very hard to trust enough to open up emotionally. There is some reason why you developed this kind of defense. Maybe if you investigate that you can find a way to change it?


I'm a 26yr old female. Just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years.
Stumbled upon Peace between the sheets like a sign from above, and am excited to try a new approach to relationships. This is day 3 of being 'clean', and I hope to check back for constant inspiration and information. Thanks!


Welcome! Sorry about the break up. This is a tough planet for relationships right now. But the more you learn about what's really going on, the more optimistic you get. Wink

You might also enjoy the "blog entries" of these two posters. The first is a couple posting together, so it's a bit confusing.


Finally, checkout the "Karezza Korner" blog in the left-hand margin.

Start your own blog if you like.