Hey there, this is one is a question for the women out there, regarding sex drive.
There have been a few posts lately by men whose partners are uninterested in sexual relations with them. But what I find curious are those who say their female partners are uninterested sex altogether. And I don't mean sexual intercourse, but also oral sex, manual sex, solo masturbation, or even sexual fantasies.
Now, granted, i'm only 32. And although our generation is probably overstimulated, and many have unhealthy relationships to promiscuity and difficulties with emotional intimacy...one thing we tend to be comfortable with is talking about sex. And through my many sexual partners and friends in my years of conversing about sex, one thing that is universal is that all women, and I mean EVERY woman I've ever spoke with, has been a sexual creature. Sure, women have a different biological pace for arousal, and there is certainly all the societal conditioning for women about choosing sexual partners, etc. etc. But even with that, they have all been interested in sex. They either read Cosmo Magazine, or they're at least curious abou what's inside. They have sexual fantasies. And they certainly have sexual feelings.
Now I was once in a relationship where -- by the end of it -- there was no sex. But it wasn't a lack of interest on either of our parts, it was a breakdown in the relationship, my addiction to PMO, depression and mental health problems, etc. etc., So I do understand how in a failing relationship, regardless of how many years, the desire to have sex with a partner can go away.
But the asexual elimination of all sexual desire whatsoever is what I'm curious about. For these women who say to their men, "It's not just that I'm not interested in sex with you, I'm just not interested in sex whatsoever. Not even with myself, or even in my own mind." I'd like to understand what happens here? Is there a biological/biochemical change that takes place post-menopause? Is there a societal conditioning thing going on here?
Or is it that they're lying...either to their male partners or even to themselves...out of a sincere fear of the consequences for being truthful?
I come with an open heart and truly out of curiosity. I don't ever want to end up in a place where my sexual partner and I don't want to have sex with each other. And more importantly, it would be horrible if we were both *wanting* sex, but she felt she had to lie about her sexual desires out of fear. How tragic! That's a lose/lose for two people that could be creating a win/win!
I will not judge...I come seeking answers and wisdom.
Hit me with truth - J