techniques Ive used to stay clean for 45 days and grwing stronger mentally

Submitted by natureheals on
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I wont give my story since I'm not yet ready to start using internet for social interaction.
Ive been addicted for 8 years starting from 18. The reason why I starting to abstain was strange. It was a picture of a girl I liked at university posted on the internet. It could have been because I masturbated recently at that point I dont remember. But It was simply that. I just wanted to be able to share my life with the kind of girl that I like (and I will :D ).

So that was day zero the day I got a reason to stop. This is important. Without a reason you wont stop. Oh by the way my cravings used to kick in 3 days after my last self harm (masturbation/porn). So it went fine for the first 3 days but I think I had a slight craving but once I looked at the picture of the girl I liked the cravings were overcome by somthing stronger and my mind was at ease. I think at day 5 or something like that I decided it was time. .... time for what you ask? the biggest weapon I used to to fight p/m/o I put a random password on my computer (this stopped me going on my computer full stop) so I wont have access to internet at my house even If I wanted to watch porn. THIS IS IMPORTANT AND THE BEST ADVICE I CAN GIVE. you will always have a strong impulse to watch but your impulse has just been halved. as simple as that. To put it simply your mind has access to the information you have. If you know you dont have internet the mind(when I mean the mind I mean the subconsciouce) knows (that infromation) and it wont bother you as much. Its like putting a pint of beer in the house of an alcoholic, how long do you think he will last? this is my point, will power isnt infinte at a point it will break but the more you abstain the more time your will power will last.

Im denying myself access to internet at home untill I have seen that Im getting. Better means that I can trust myself to not watch and the cravings are weak enough that I can brush them aside. Once I reach that threshold I will buy a reformat cd and reformat my computer. I thought this will be 2 months mark and Im close to that point but I dont think Ive accumalated enough will power so now its 4 months. I still had access to the intenet but it was using the public library. my full plan is this I will only limit myself of one hour of internet a day once I start using the internet at home but intially Im going to have access to the internet but not actually use it for hmm 2 weeks. this is letting my mind to know that I can have internet and not use it.

Okay so no internet is one thing I used. what else. Nature walks. LONG WALKS. since I only work part time in work I had alot of time to do this. I use to get up early (6am) and head to the next nearest town which was 5 miles away and I walked along canal ways. I walked real slowly this gave my mind alot of time to think. I just want to tell you about this "thinking". spending time looking within yourself helps just thinking and getting to know urself. I use to let my mind drift to watever it wanted except pornography which I tried to blank but if the though arouse I hmm tried to see all my negative porn energy seep through my body, thats the best I can explain. Something strange started to happen my memory of past events started to get better and I mean real better I started to remember names emotions and events of my past life, this was invigorating. Once I reach my destination, which took 2-3 hours lol I went into the library and got books or went on the internet for 1 hour (maximum time I was allowed) then walk back home. but nature walks do help. I did this for like 2-3 weeks. I just want to tell you about this one time, it was at the end of my first week and I had the biggest craving while heading out and I actually intended to buy the reformat cd and watch porn but because I had so much to think and the craving subsided. This is the reason I actually thought that distance walking is good since wenever you get a craving, the time it will take to get home and on internet is so long that it just subsides with till power.

Thirdly I stopped watching televsion. I did this because I believe that watching televsion has no real benefit, you can know whats happening in the world by reading newspapaers. And televsion nowadays is like softcore pornography. Instaed I started reading. I try to read classics, the one ive read is "a hundred years of solitude" really good book.

Lastly lol (this is a long post) each morning I get up and use a calender to cross of another day. this helps. It gives you something to be proud of. Ive managed 45 days :) . oh and I sleep like 10 hours a day now and I had my first watching myslef watching porn dream it wasnt pleasent. but all these things tell me that my mind is fighting it. Im tried of writing now lol I will write some more in the future to let you guys know of my recovery but I only wrote this because this site and every in it has helped me so much.

recap

start with a reason
block access to internet at home COMPLETLY
mark of each day in a calender to look at your progress and achievement
long nature walks to figh cravings
stop watching television
start reading or other hobbies to keep the mind "entertained"

My progress week 1 and 2 high cravings
week 3 and 4 low cravings
week 5 and 6 cravings increasing
week 6-7 Im starting to believe that I can actually leave this addiction

Take each day at a time till the day you can enjoy each second of that day

Thanks so much

for sharing your story. It's very helpful to others. It's a drastic solution: no Internet at home, but it will probably be just the right answer for some people - at least those who have good support in their lives from other sources.

Walks are a great idea, too.

Looking forward to your further insights. I hope you soon attract that "right kind" of goddess. Smile She'll be a lucky lady.

Nice job! Limiting and

Nice job! Limiting and controlling the internet seems to be a helpful technique. Thanks for the reminder.

If one way be better than another, that you may be sure is nature's way.
-Aristotle

Thankz Marnia "It's a

Thankz Marnia

"It's a drastic solution: no Internet at home"
True but I see it this way, stop internet at home (you can access it in the library) for 4 months, beat the addiction for life :D. Im on my 46 day if I had internet I wouldnt have gotten this far. I use to think its will power but the cravings use to get so intense that I walked to the computer like a zombie. Now that I dont have internet I say "do your best because I cant go on porn even if I want to" and I surrender to watever feelings that I might feel.

Really guys how much usefull time do we spend on the internet?

Lastly I want to share what happened to me last night. Iv'e mentionaed I sleep ALOT but last two nights its been 12 hours each. I think the reason I sleep early is because I use to go internet at that time and use my DOC (drug of choice >> porn) so its like when someone is fighting a flue we sleep alot so our bodys (and mind) are able to fight the diease. Anyway last night I had my first flying dream. This is a milestone because the last time I use to dream like that (real vivdly) was before I became an addict. And when I woke my head was buzzing. I believe that im getting better seriously the 6 week milestone is actually true!!

I still get cravings but not as intense and they go if I concentrate on something else. but guys having cravings is good! because your not going to heal unless you have something to fight i,e cravings. Thars how I see it. If you want to be courages you have to be in a situation that makes you act your courage out otherwise you will never be courages ryt? Dont worry guys cravings wont be hellish forever, just stay on the path and you will be free.

Another tip I learnt stay away from suagary food. I had some chocolate and for the next two days I had bad cravings for my DOC. Not sure its the chocolate but just to be on the safe side Im staying away from that. Oh and this is a funny trick I use.

our own imagination is pretty strong, having flashbacks of porn in my head is kinda using our imagination ryt? so I thought why not use that to my advantage. Theres different porn models that I was most attracted to and they would pop up in a flashback in my head, and this was real hard because these models where actually the "softcore" models. You see the mind will use anything to break down your wall your building so my mind is saying "hey look where just gona look at softcore and ""innocent"" models" but I know once you start of with softcore then it gets hardcore, thats the nature of addiction (you need a higher level than before for the same kick). Ryt so this is the technique imagine this scenerio in your head.

You have said "I cant be with you anymore, Im leaving you and I "love" someone else" then imagine someone that you care for and is real. then imagine that the model is crying shouting and telling you to get out. Imagine shes pointing at the door and really shouting and making you sad and angry and you can shout back if you want.

Each time another model that appears in my mind I do the same with each model, It actually makes you concentrate on that scenerio. This actually helps me at times and you can try other scenerios. the principle is the same, Use your imagination, let it work for you. In my mind that model made me happy (in my mind it did) so its "natural" that you feel close to that model. Am I wrong Marnia? so I believe this senerio is a way of grieving over something or someone you lost. (even though its porn) all this is part of the healing process. Dont forget you have to fight everyday, it does get easier over time..Good look guys

Finally I think breaking out of an addiction has three parts

acknolging its not how nature intended it and its a problem
abstaining for as long as it takes to decrease the cravings so that theyre weak enough so that you can fight with your will power
and lastly and this is important, replacing with a productive hobbie anything but something. Im getting back into education and reading and gona take some a levels

Day 46..

Believe me,

I see the wisdom in your no-Internet-at-program, and I commend you.

I'm also glad you brought up the grieving problem. For many of you, porn women have been your "female comfort" for a while. It's normal that you would feel grief when they leave. I think that's a very clever way of manipulating the imagery to help you heal the grief.

The good news is that connecting with a real partner will also help erase that old connection. I read in Doidge's book that when a mother ewe has a new lamb, the oxytocin released erases her connection to the lamb of the previous year, so she now keeps track of the new one. Smile In other words, oxytocin may help the brain "mold" to new love interests. http://www.reuniting.info/node/1808#modify

Are you socializing at all? Wink

I work part time Marnia and

I work part time Marnia and I intract with my work mates, thats the most socializing I do. I do interact with my family well not all of them. And Im loving my long nature walks :D. I'm slowly starting to enage more around me and to be honest Im waiting to start on my course which I will be studying away in another city, where I would meet other people and so ryt now Im trying hard to concentrate.

Dame I need to buy that book "the brain that changes itself". Just read that stuff Marnia and I can see that to move forward making new connections of love or friendship helps to overcome the old connections. COOOL :D Cant I just buy some oxytocin from the chemist? lol messin

Okay so I need to socialize some more.

I just want to mentioin one more thing about "Manipulating/Replacing" memories. Today I had a craving but it lasted prob 1 min. How I overcame the craving was basically see the model standing and smiling. Simple as that. And then when the "urge" came back I so the same picture of the girl just smiling like she was a friend or something.

Ive come to realise that if you repeatedly alter your memories in this way. The new memory overtime becomes the dominant one and when ever you get an urge of a specific Porn fantasy the new memory doesnt bother you as much (and after a period of time at all). It goes further because sometimes Im scared that the next urge will make me relapse, this actually makes me more vulnerable because my mind is not at ease. But if you know the urge will be just another girl flashback in your mind then your more confident that you can move your mind onto something else?

I want to say something about the everything I just said. "Manipulating" these fantasys takes time and focus. Something Im achieveing with the help of not watching television. Its true that televison and any video format just decrease your imagination and focus (IMHO). So I would recommend abstainig from televsion (good look lol)

day 47..

i like that you blocked

i like that you blocked internet access completely but realistically this is not possible for me... i know its the best way to overcome this addiction but i cant get away from the home computers. i wish i could go somewhere without internet for 4 months.
where i live there are 4 with internet. what alternatives do i have? i cannot install k9 on all of them b/c they are not mine. i relapse end of each month. trying not to binge this time around.

Hmm..

well if you can watch porn on 'em maybe you can alter the host files: http://yourbrainonporn.com/web-filters. Maybe everyone would be better off. Wink

Why the end of the month? Must be a trigger you can watch out for there somewhere.

We've often thought it would be nice to have a camp where those who are unhooking could go...with lots of laughs, healthy touch, etc. But actually, everyone needs to create that "camp" in their own lives to some extent. Have you checked out the tools?

http://yourbrainonporn.com/tools-for-change

Sirens I applaud you lasting

Sirens I applaud you lasting a month without pornography, I can see that your trying hard to overcome your/our addiction. In my experience week 5 and 6 are hell!! but im in my week 7 and its been one of the easiest, (and Im finally believe that the hardest times are behind me, but im still vigilent)your so close, and I really believe your almost there just a few more steps.

Try this, ask each of the other people in your house that will they help you with a project. In this project your staying away from internet for 2-4 weeks and will they password there computer so you dont have access to them (you dont know the password). And also will they confiscate your computer for the same period and not to give it to you even if you asked for it? The purpose for the project is upto you. But when your close to your month and you know your vulnerable then you can start your project (so you would get past 4 weeks plus 3 weeks). (But I just want to add that use the public libraries to get access to the internet while you wont have any at home, I did that myself and I reccommend viewing other users experiences and resolves on this site while in public libraries, im very grateful to everyone who has written something on this site, it got me past hard times, so thankyou everyone and Marnia :) )

worst comes to worst they suspect something, but at the time when you need support we lock ourselfs up. The reason why its so hard is because pornography addiction relies on you keeping it a secret and not recieving the help that you deserve :)

my heighest abstinece was 14 days, that was 6 years ago, im on my 48th day and touch wood lol im so at peace withmyself and contempt. One final thing Sirens, I bet your life is like a month that repeats itself, im talking about you seem to find it the same each month. I felt like that with my 3 day thing, but now I feel like I have infinte time like I can plan for the next year.

Oh and guys Ive got a good way to replace the thumbnails of pornography models that I bet we have all seen, Ive reaplaced them with flowers in my head all different colours and varieties and lol it helps I concentrate on a picture of this thumbnails of flowers wenever I get the flashback and its funny and helpful at the same time :P

Sirens by giving up porography you gain so much, just keep telling yourself that.. watever it takes get past that threshold dont wait 6 years like me and see those years like a fazzy dream. Life is more than internet Pornography

day 48 ...

Nature,

I think you've got a future as a recovery coach. Wink

I'm so glad you're feeling better. Truly, once you guys turn the corner on this, I bet you can handle anything life throws at you. It just doesn't get much tougher.

Lol Marnia thankyou, but let

Lol Marnia thankyou, but let me just say that I sound like Im winning this, but some days and im sure everyone knows what im on about, theyre just bad, and you think to urself why are you doing this, your missing out on so much ie pornography, (BAD CRAVINGS). Guys when I feel like this I read stuff on here, I concetrate on my breathing out, with each breath I exhale I imagine my memorys/flashbacks and experiences of pornography bein taken away with that breath. and I look around me if Im walking to see that Im part of something more than just the feelings inside my head.

This is all reinforcing beliefs that I remind myself, It takes time, sometime the cravings are strong. Dont forget how hard youve tried to get this far, you aint giving up that easily, each time you get a craving say no!!Imagine yourself pornography free enjoying life,

day 49 ...

natureheals

[quote=natureheals]
Sirens by giving up porography you gain so much, just keep telling yourself that.. watever it takes get past that threshold dont wait 6 years like me and see those years like a fazzy dream. Life is more than internet Pornography

day 48 ...[/quote]

yeah, it would be nice to get my erection back. natureheals, did you have any ED problems with real women during the porn age?

thanks,

noobzealot this might come

noobzealot this might come as a shock but im a virgin lol - partly religion/culture and maybe just waiting for the right girl :( lol So I cant comment on intimate realtions with females, but I can comment on ED, just before I started my abstinence I remember (lol seems like a lifetime ago) I use to masterbate on semi erect, I believe If I carry on I would have suffered alot of ED

Saying that I get erections in the mornings now , well some mornings and Its getting way better, If you give it time your body just sorts it out itself I think, but first thing first Im fighting my pornography addiction, zealot my advice is eat healthy and try to have a good sleeping pattern and excercise, this strengths the mind and body, Good luck mate.

cliches

[quote=jl8490]Be careful what you wish for rayjay...[/quote]

why does everyone say that? what's the worst that can come of it really? if i could give my libido to you guys i would, really. it's a hassle.

Can you elaborate? I realize

Can you elaborate? I realize it takes time, but I think you and others would benefit from a little more details in your posts.

Is this one foot in, one foot out approach how you interact with females? If so, you are greatly reducing the likelihood of sparking their interest and a conversation or relationship developing.

Thankyou JRsun, Im just

Thankyou JRsun, Im just returning the favour that everyone here has given from there own experiences, Today was a difficult day, had cravings and theyre just subsiding, but the best thing is my body is learning that if I get cravings I dont have to relaps, (brain plasticity) breaking porn networks in my head, Come on guys you can get through one more day!!

Day 49 ...7 weeks :P