Porn or Masturbation: 26 days clean
Orgasm: 1 Day clean
Marijuana: 12 Days Clean
Cigs: 2 Days Clean
Hello all, 2 Days ago (day 24) I could no longer control my urges and went to a local Massage Parlor and ended up getting a massage with a "Happy Ending" (extremely intense orgasm). I was so dissapointed with myself after words but decided it was in the past and time to move on. I still have no urge to look at porn or masturbate but my erections were so intense through out the last week I felt like I had to get some type of release. After the release I felt very relaxed, tired ... a little social anxiety an hour or 2 following but after 48 hours I don't feel any/many after effects.
Binging on porn and M crossed my mind momentarily but I know what it will do too my body and mind and have very little urge to do so. During the actual massage I shared with the masseuse about how I was practicing this abstinence/no orgasm approach for the last 3-4 weeks to clear my mind, focus my energy on more productive things and to rewire my brain. She thought I was crazy and "masturbation is normal" and of course I never mentioned I was severely addicted to porn. But after sharing my feelings with her I'd have to say it felt good telling a person face to face.
Anyways back on DAY 2 of no orgasm... (also decided to quit cigs... 36 hours clean )I'll try to go another month+ and see what happens. But I KNOW I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO PORN!!! Now I just have to stop getting these damn massages.... it is so difficult without a girlfriend.... to be continued....
Edit: I forgot to mention my possible triggers... It was New Years Eve and I had ZERO plans, I felt lonely and bored. Also all my morning erections didn't seem to help. I haven't had morning wood in years due to Porn related ED... I'm sure I'll get used to them and do my best to ignore in the future lol.
Happy New Years All! - Confinement