Hi everyone, thanks for this great site, I have been reading here for a couple days. Marnia, I see you respond to every single person here, you are a walking saint - god bless you.
I am 27 years old, and I have used porn for about 10 years. I tried quitting when I was 24, and after 1 month clean, I had my only relationship since starting porn use. However, it took a bad turn when we were having sex for the first time, and I was unable to get the job done. I was very turned on, right up to the point when we had sex, and then suddenly I was no longer aroused by her. It was very frustrating and it led to the end of the relationship. It also led to 3 more years of porn for me. She was still interested in me, and willing to work through it. But I wasn't ready to stop isolating myself.
Fast forward to this past August. I gave up marijuana, my other addiction, and am now 4.5 months clean. Being free from that addiction has given me first hand experience of how much better life can get without a monkey on my back, and it has inspired me to beat my porn addiction, no matter what I have to do. I began reading the book "The Porn Trap" and I made it 11 days without porn, but I gave up when I lost my libido completely for about a week. Against my better judgment I used porn to double check that everything was still working down there. It was all fine and in good working order, and now since reading this site I have an understanding of what is going on. I just need to wait through it while my neuroplasticizers rewire themselves and reboot the system :). The Porn Trap is a great book, but it didn't do a very good job of preparing me for the experience of withdrawal. I can thank all of the posters here for sharing their experiences and enlightening me in that regard
Today is day 4 on the long road out of hell. I'm glad this community is here and I'd like to progress together with all of you.
Love, Light, and Life,