This may not be completely new info, but the realization that it brought to me is very interesting, and insightful.
Also, this would be a good blog entry, but I don't have one, yet. Marnia et. al., I would appreciate if you could allow me to blog, and move this topic to the blog (if possible).
I have been off P for more than three months, and off M and O for last two months.
Let's call the threshold of of contact time (λ).
The other day I was in the gym, and was watching TV in between sets. I am not sure what exactly was the program name,but it was a talent show (like American Idol), where girls were dancing in really skimpy clothes. Here's what happened:
• First I noticed the girls, but did not pay attention to them too much (t < 3 seconds). And I was feeling alright, but after watching it every now and then between sets, I began to find it interesting.
• After that I happened to see some guy, was showing one of the trainers, some model in Esquire magazine, in a sexy pose. This was probably first erotica (ha!) contact I had after a while. I had a glance (t < 3 s - this is important) and avoided seeing it further i.e.contact time was less than few seconds.
• After a few days break. I found the same magazine in the locker room. Got curious to see that model. I saw her, and here is the interesting bit: I spent sometime observing different parts of her body (like an object), and started to feel some strange good feeling. Even in the porn, I used to enjoy watching close-up (not too close though). The main point is, I had spent more time observing all her curves and body parts, AND had started to feel good. This had not occurred at the first glance. Hence, the concept of Contact Time. It was like a trans-fixation for a few minutes (t > λ)
• I went back to doing my usual things, but I started to notice some distance from my girl. I did not feel as close and as interested in her as before. And that was the reason why I wondered.
• Two days later, it started feel better and close to her just like before.
• I started to notice that for me, there's a certain amount of contact time, that has to elapse before I
start getting the hit of dopamine. I remember that this what I used to do even when watching P. Observe curvy parts intently and get off w/o even fantasizing having sex with the girl on the screen.
• I tried this on one of the fitness magazines with hot girls. I saw some pics (nothing completely naked), and moved on before I get transfixed momentarily. I haven't had reaction like before. So for me, it seems like I can watch but only for time less than threshold of contact time i.e. t < λ. This seems also in-line with, what Doidge refers to as one of the elements for the plastic change i.e intense concentration
• The other day I was watching Human Target's episode called Kill Bob. It featured a girl called Angie, who's a Russian spy. She was a spy so clearly in shape, strong, kick-butt, smart and sexy. What I noticed is that I like the physique of such girls(actress is real if not character), and what they do as characters. I feel like I fall in love with such characters, but since I already have a gf, my heart goes to her, while physically I like having girls like Angie. That's the split!. Emotionally I am with my girl, but physically I want better shape! And it sucks.
• What I have decided to do is when I meet my girl this time, we will start our physical interactions as if we starting a new relationship. First no touching, building up attractions, and gradually using techniques like karezza, and occasional orgasms. This is once again in-line with Doidge's example of how a paralyzed man learned to walk by doing what a baby would do to learn.
What do you guys think?
I guess I am addicted to this site!:-D