Memory Restored

Submitted by jejunestar on
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I have to leave for school soon, so I will make this as short as I can.

When I started using porn a few years ago, my memory began to fog. My whole life since then has seemed like an unidentifiable blob. Now it isn't necessarily exactly when I started using porn, but the general time. So I'm not sure whether to connect the two.

Past memories are coming to me and I am in disbelief that they even happened. Yet they are so joyful and care-free. Finally, after being frustrated with this for so long, I feel like this IS my life, and this IS what I have done. I have been struggling to feel any possessiveness of my life and actions. Now I feel like I remember things, and that my past is flying back at me, and it all feels terrific.

Also, dreams. I am dreaming constantly. Even dreams that happened months ago are coming back to me, and I am having trouble differentiating what is real and what is not. It is also quite enjoyable.

Just wondering if this has been experienced by other porn recovery addicts, or if this is related.