This is my first post here after discovering yourbrainonporn.com last weekend. After going through that site I realized that porn and masturbation may be causing the issues that have been haunting me for most of my 20's (I am 29 today).
I would like to tell you guys my story, I don't really talk about it too much and it's just nice to compare notes with people who actually understand.
I started using the internet to masturbate in my late teens. At first it was just to still photos because I did not know of any good video sites back then. There were so many images of beautiful airbrushed women I would just keep going through different pictures or different women until I finally finished. At this point I still hadn't noticed any sexual issues and thought I was just enjoying myself.
Then at around age 19 or so I moved on to video porn, I would use video porn usually at least once a day, most days it was more like 2-3.
I have always been a breast man so eventually I start masturbating to only girls with big fake breasts. Eventually girls with normal natural breasts did nothing for me.
In my early 20's is when I started to notice issues developing. I just wasn't attracted to normal women that I would see every day anymore. When I tried to be with one sexually I just didn't feel all that turned on, the best way to describe how I felt was "blah". This started happening even when I was around girls who I had previously been extremely attracted too...
I soon noticed that Psychological ED was becoming a serious issue. I found ED to be extremely embarrassing so it has lead to many years of being alone without attempting sex. I am not a virgin, but I have had very limited sexual experience in my 20's. The last time I tired was about a year ago. I used cialis which helped me to get an erection after several minutes of her stimulating me with her hand. But I was unable to have an orgasm in her vagina. I had to pull out and let her finish me with her hand while I was secretly thinking about porn.
I couldn't really figure out what was going on with me, I thought it might be porn/masturbation related, but I have stopped for 7-10 days in the past without my erections getting better(just increased libido). I even thought at some point that I might just be one of those guys who is gay without realizing it, even though I have never been attracted to men and have been heavily attracted to women since even before puberty.
I can see now that my problems were because my brain has become only attracted to internet porn. I also realize that it is most likely going to take more than 7-10 days for me to reboot, that is why it wasn't helping in the past.
Given that I have been masturbating to porn for almost a decade now I know this is not going to happen overnight. I am just going to play it day by day until I feel like I have rebooted. I am hoping it happens within 90 days but I am not going to set a specific goal for days, the goal is just to be rebooted no matter how long it takes.
So today is the 6th day, I wouldn't say it's been easy, but easier this time around since I have done this in the past, and I am much more motivated this time around after reading other peoples success.
So far I have just been becoming increasingly horny every day. I have not yet flat lined like some people do. My genitals feel like they are about 1000 degrees. My morning wood has been back most mornings, but not today for some reason. But I still feel like I am not as attracted to real women as much as I should be and ED would still be present if I was with a real girl.
As soon as I feel like I am ready I am going to try my best to have sex with a girl and not to masturbate again, but if I have to masturbate I will do so only to my sensations.
Side note: I also believe that all this masturbating lead to the famous "death grip" problem which I am hoping this helps with also.
Wish me luck!