Angry women

Submitted by freedom on
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I hope most women don't feel this way. It's interesting to see how many male posts versus female posts address cuddling. It could be that women can more readily pick up guys but perhaps it is not limited to that. There are also discussions on online dating sites about the male desire to cuddle. It seems women are rather suspicious of us men. I presume their brains are out of whack too.

Lifted from NYC Craigslist (no link as the page will expire anyway) and presumably posted by a woman.
What's Up With Inviting Total Strangers Over To Cuddle? (ice princess ville)
Date: 2011-04-03, 8:49PM EDT

When I see guys wanting a woman to come over and cuddle I shake my head in disgust.
I guess you guys haven't gotten the memo that cuddling is more intimate than sex. Two people can get trashed in a bar and have animalistic primal sex. Who is going to cuddle with a total stranger?
Cuddling has to be EARNED, something that you want to do with someone once you've gotten to know them and feel comfortable....not after 15 minutes and a few emails or a phone convo...
Just another example of how the internet has killed dating and shaped men's minds of everything "on demand" and skipping over the "uncomfortable" parts of dating...and putting a band aid on their "loneliness" temporarily until they need their next fix, post their next ad, screw with another woman's head while they "sort out" their feelings....
So when your cuddle partner shows up at your door(and again who would invite a total stranger over)and she looks like snookie on a bad day(or actually bobby moynihan imitating snookie, chest hair and all....) tell me....


I'd think a man who wanted

I'd think a man who wanted to cuddle on the first date was a little fruity if I were a woman. She's right, it needs to be earned. There are plenty of ways to gradually experience more and more intimacy over the course of getting to know someone, and then the cuddling will just happen naturally. I wouldnt trust an insta-cuddler if I were a woman.

If one way be better than another, that you may be sure is nature's way.

I'd have to agree...

I for one never felt I would be comfortable looking for a cuddle partner. I am looking for an everything partner, someone that a real connection can develop. I agree with the outlook it has to be earned. It is one of those intimate interactions that takes a certain level of trust in order to fully engage in. If you're all anxious or on edge while trying to cuddle with someone you just met how can that be of any benefit to anyone anyway aside from sharing body heat.

My outlook on this is it could be similar to the porn and masturbation draw. If you are getting some cuddling without investment, I fear that you would become satisfied with that and loose the drive to find the everything partner. It happened when we were sexually satiated, who's to say that it wouldn't also happen when we are cuddle satiated?

"Imagination is more important than knowledge"

"We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are."
Max Depree

Be the kind of person that when you wake up in the morning the devils says, "Oh Crap, It's up!"

Disagreeing Heartily

I'm in a long distance relationship and wouldn't cope without all the lovely men and women who cuddle me on a daily basis. I've got loads what seems now to be termed cuddle-buddies. Guys that wouldn't date me but are perfectly happy to snuggle up with me and watch a movie or sit in the sofa cuddling, knowing it won't go anywhere. It's not a right they have to earn. They can lose it if they make me feel uncomfortable - if I feel like they want more or that they aren't comfortable. But other than that I will, and do, hug anyone. Friends, family, flatmates, workmates, strangers. It doesn't matter. As far as I know meeting people on the internet for cuddles hasn't caught on where I live - but if it works for you then go for it.

I don't think women not trusting men is entirely to do with their brains being out of sync. It's probably a factor, but most women, of my age at least, have at one time or another had bad experiences with men and that creates a lack of trust. I've been stalked in the past and am continually bombarded with unwanted sexual attention in my day to day life. I don't go out to attract it, I don't dress to attract it - but it is inescapable. And it does impact how much you feel you can trust men and how much you can believe that they don't want anything more than cuddling.

My suggestion, if you find the idea of finding a specific cuddle-buddy (which could I admit come to feel like a partner who you had some obligations towards) why not just cuddle everyone instead? Works for me...

I've never understood

I've never understood people who get so upset and angry over things that don't involve them, lol~~I have too many things going on in my own life to worry about what someone else is doing!!

The woman who wrote this--if she doesn't want to call one of these men, she doesn't have to do it. But if someone thinks it sounds nice to find a cuddle buddy, well, that is their own business and no one else's!

From the tone of her note, she may not be getting much cuddling?? Smile


Hmmm....interesting perspective

To me it seems more critical than ever these days to make cuddling okay for everyone.

Much misery arises from the fact that people believe they have only 2 choices: grim celibacy as they wait for the perfect partner or drunken "rocks off" sex.

Courtship rituals of the past were actually nurturing to both parties, and made waiting far more bearable. Since they aren't an option today...enter cuddling. Makes perfect sense scientifically as a mutual mood regulator.

I think some of you have been reading too many of those dreadful Pick-up Artist sites. *sigh*

You don't have to say, "Can I come over for a cuddle?" You can say, "Want to curl up and watch a movie with me? I promise to respect your boundaries; this is not a sexual invitation...for now." Smile

lots of perspectives

But if we looked at every single rant on craigslist, we wouldn't have time to live our lives...

This issue she is ranting about - like many other life topics - is something you will have to choose for yourself to see if it will work for you.

I definitely think that we are lacking safe touch in our culture.
How you choose to receive touch - or if you chose to go without it - is up to you.

Cuddling is great, and is a

Cuddling is great, and is a strong form of intimacy, but there are plenty of other ways to get intimacy before cuddling. A nice supportive conversation, eye contact, emotional presence... these might be more suitable at first depending on the situation or culture. I think its important to keep in mind that there are no hard and fast rules and that there are opportunities for intimacy everywhere, each opportunity is going to be different.

If one way be better than another, that you may be sure is nature's way.