New and on Day Seven :)

Submitted by supershark on
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I discovered "Your Brain on Porn" a week ago after trying to find out what was wrong with me:

I have always suffered from gynecomastia, the enlargement of male breasts. In the past four years, i have noticed I've had really bad tenderness in my nipples, especially as of late. This was coupled with super-brain fog, intense fatigue, weakness, depression - all the signs of a hormone imbalance -

I figured my "healthy" masturbation schedule of once to three times daily, to fetish porn, of course, *might* be messing with my hormones, but I disregarded the matter with a quick wank after trying to stop after three days. Not a problem, right?

Well, I didn't have a hormone problem.

The doctors even asked if I took steroids or smoked weed, neither of which I did. I was devastated. I figured for sure that something was terribly wrong with me, I felt AWFUL every single day. There just had to be something bad happening! In my stressed-out situation, I binged. I almost went for round four in one day. Then, the epiphany struck - I ONLY FELT SICK AND SLUGGISH AFTER I MASTURBATED.

I rushed to the internet, Googling everything I could, "masturbation and gynecomastia," "sex sickness," I carried out my tirade in secret, as I am 22 and still live at home with a nosy mother and father - the bathroom and an iPod Touch with WiFi was all I needed for stimulation, and unbeknownst to me, was the path to healing :P Then came the discovery of "Sex and the Brain," with a link to YBOP. Of course, I didn't bother to check out the YBOP link, as I did not have a porn problem...

The game changer was down the page, when I found out what happens hormonally in the brain - After the surge of dopamine during orgasm, the body gets pumped with prolactin, like slamming on the brakes...

Prolactin. The same hormone my doctor looked for with my gynecomastia. I was pumping my body full of prolactin every. Single. Day. Sometimes multiple times. How could this not cause problems?!

It all added up. Four years ago, I went through a terrible depression, which was also around the same time I began m'ing and o'ing frequently. I also began experiencing the brain fog, no motivation, more depression, and nipple problems all at once. I am an artist, and had no problem carrying out my fantasies on paper and whacking away to that - lately I didn't even need a computer, just a pen and paper. Although, it seems like everything I've drawn lately WAS all fetish stuff... after all, I had no creative juices to come up with a legitimate artistic concept to carry out... Maybe I did have a problem... Porn is porn, after all - no matter what it is or how it's viewed - if you get off to it...

I clicked the YBOP link and I feel forever changed. I revealed my problem to my parents. They are huge supporters, and had no idea I was going through such turmoil.

I am now on day seven, and my mood and demeanor has shifted in ways I never expected. I still have foggy dumb moments, I don't expect a four year problem to heal in a week, but I am SO happy to have found a decent excuse as to why I have been feeling this way... I highly doubt my gynecomastia will fully dissipate, but can't help but wonder if anyone else has experienced such a symptom, exclusively from too much stimulation...

Today was the hardest day yet. I have been urging all day long, and I got hit with a monster headache. Now I'm sitting here in bed because I can't sleep at all. It's going to be a crappy road, but I cannot wait until I can see colors, get excited for things, and feel happy again. I have literally felt NO true joy in four years. I am so grateful I found this website, and here's to hoping I can function long enough to give a two-week update :D

Hey Shark!

Welcome. At least you know those miserable withdrawal symptoms are *normal,* right? If not, you can have a look at others' reports here: http://yourbrainonporn.com/what-does-withdrawal-from-porn-look-like What things make you feel better...if anything? There are ideas here: http://yourbrainonporn.com/tools-for-change#tools

I'm glad you have supportive parents. But keep us posted here, too. It's a tough battle, but it does get easier after a bit. You saw the mood graphs on this page, right?
http://yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-accounts

I've enabled you to blog, as it can help to journal your progress. You're young, which seems to speed recovery.

BTW, Gary was a frequent masturbator at your age...and had chronic depression until we happened to experiment with another approach to lovemaking. The depression gradually faded away. Amazing. Also, did you read this article by a shrink who noticed post-coital depression in perfectly healthy patients? http://yourbrainonporn.com/sex-and-depression-in-the-brain-if-not-the-mind

*big hug*

Thanks, Marnia!

Day eight! :D

Yep, I've been gleaning as much info as I can from YBOP, including withdrawal symptoms and info on post-coital depression (which fits my experiences to a T).

Today I feel so clear-headed and smart after having such a brutal day yesterday. It's so nice Pardon