My first post EVER (day 4)

Submitted by onAroll on
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Okay the reason my subject is called "My first post EVER" is because I can proudly say that this is actually my first time posting on any type of forum on the internet lol. I have been actually lurking around this website for a few weeks now, but I feel it is now time for me to join and share my journey here. With that said I will go ahead and tell you guys my story as I feel this community here is very supportive and it will greatly relieve me in some way knowing that I can share my experiences.

I am a 22 year old guy that has been addicted PMO since I was around 12 years old. So far I can say I've had only one real relationship with a girl. I had my first(and last) girlfriend at the age of 16 and she is also the one I lost my virginity to. I had no problems with ED, but I did cum too quick (within 5 minutes or so). I understand that guys can cum too quick especially if it's their first time since there is a lot of anxiety going on. But even though I became sexually comfortable and relaxed with her, it was hard for me to last long enough to satisfy her. While I was in that relationship of 3 years, I still continued my PMO sessions pretty much at least once everyday so I don't know if my case of PE had to do anything with PMO. Thinking back now, ever since I started to masturbate since age 12, my PMO sessions were no longer that 5-10 mins. So that might have something to do with my premature ejaculation (PE) since over the years I taught my brain to cum quickly.

Ever since then, I started to do heavy research on PE and learned a lot about kegels and reverse kegel exercises. Even though I had learned about kegels years ago, it has only been about 6 months that I had actually started to do kegel routines religiously. Also, I started to take my time while masturbating and not rush and now I can actually edge for 1-2 hours without cumming. Ever since then, I became more addicted to PMO since it was not over so quickly and I was able to look at even more porn while doing it. Since then I just had one fling with a girl just to test out my new sexual endurance. That was the last action I got.

I play sports, workout, and take care of myself fairly well. The problem is that I am the shy type of guy when it comes to approaching or speaking to girls. At first glance, people always would think that I would have no problem getting girls. I have somewhat of social anxiety, more-so around females and cannot flirt or give out hints of that sort even if it's with a girl I like. I end up looking like the "friend" type of guy. I suppose (and I actually hope) this is because of my PMO habit because I try to attend social events, but always end up coming back home alone hating myself for not being able to at least get a girl's # and end up PMO'ing. This has caused me to avoid many social events and instead resort to PMO for pleasure.

Even though this is my first post I can proudly say that this is my 4th day without PMO and I plan to quit for good (but I have set myself a goal of 2 months just so I have a timeline to work with and feel proud of myself once I reach the 2 months lol). I always thought I have strong willpower, so this would put it to the ultimate test. I think my longest without PMO I have gone before was 3 days max. So right now I'm totally pushing myself and always telling myself that I CAN DO IT! My goal is to actually be in a relationship or at least have some flings here and there so I can have the O with a real girl. I have been single for so long and seeing all my friends and everyone around me having a girlfriend makes me feel lonely.

One thing to note: I had been smoking marijuana for quite a while now and the last few months I have incorporated this habit with my PMO sessions. Basically what I was doing was smoking marijuana right before I was about to PMO. The reason I was doing thing was because the level of pleasure seemed to be doubled as I was high and it seemed like I can last forever which made porn even more enjoyable.
So even though I quit PMO for good, do you guys recommend I quit marijuana for good also? I used to pretty much always smoke before I PMO, so right now if I were to smoke.. it would only probably be once a week with my close friends. The reason I ask this is because I have read before that getting high off marijuana does release some dopamine, so I'm wondering if I continue to smoke occasionally would it affect or hinder my recovery process from PMO? Any input on this would greatly be appreciated.

Sorry for the long post, but hey it's my first Wink
I'm just glad that I joined! This site along with the resources here has given me a great deal of knowledge on something that never really crossed my mind.
So far my progress has been good as I definitely feel more sociable with others. I will keep you guys posted along my journey to becoming the man I have always dreamed of.

Thank you all and stay strong!

Thanks for sharing your story

Sounds like this may well be the key to unlocking your charm. Smile Edging is a powerful drug trip for the brain with all kinds of unsuspected effects that vary from person to person. It'll be interesting to see what you notice.

Have you protected your computer? http://yourbrainonporn.com/tools-for-change#computer

Good luck. Let us know how it goes. I enabled you to blog if you want to keep a sort of journal.

If You Can Stop Both

I think stopping both would be a wise option if you think you've got the willpower. It seems marijuana would be a cue for PMO if you continued using it while abstaining PMO.

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You mean I'm supposed to just enjoy her company?

Here's a story

Gary saw on a forum yesterday:

I have a similar story which proved to me that porn can be harmful to my health. About a week ago after a huge dry spell i was finally fooling around with a girl that i was very much attracted to. We were making out but I sucked on her tits and fingered her a little bit. She rubbed my dick and dry humped me and i grabbed her tits but throughout this whole session- about 40 minutes long- i never got fully hard. When i watch porn i get hard immediately but with her i could only manage a half erection and that was because she was rubbing my dick and i was grabbing her tits. I have a routine where i jack off every ten days but i will often watch porn everyday. The day before we fooled around i jacked off to porn; I'm 98% percent sure that if i didn't jack off that day and if I didn't watch porn as much, I would have managed an erection which would have most likely scored me at least a bj.

"It's the porn, people!"