I’ve got to reality check by rationalizing brain. I’m not talking at about porn abstinence. I have no interest in porn. Every now and then I get this nagging feeling that I could be somehow making more progress if I wasn’t as rigid about abstaining from orgasm and ejaculation. For me, sex isn’t that likely an immediate reality even if I found a partner. Perhaps that feeds my nagging brain. I more or less cannot experiment in any way because of that policy of abstinence. That isn’t necessarily bad as it keeps the dopamine from sexual inputs as low as possible. I’m confident that two highly compatible partners can work through just about anything and that intent trumps expertise much of the time. Older men are often better in bed because they’ve resolved their mental issues and can be more other focused. I conclude this internal nagging is just some brain worms due to the goings on my life. It’s pretty easy to read something here or elsewhere and have my brain start cooking up what might be worth doing. It’s a shifted form of craving in some sense. Others here have been less rigid and much more lenient about masturbating without porn routine or what not. I don’t want to masturbate. I’m also aware that experimenting might lead me backwards down the road. Even partner sex has done that for some. There’s more positive to real sex. That’s not the issue here. The issue is getting used to ejaculation or orgasm again might undue my efforts. Even these thoughts sometimes make me feel like I’m losing ground. I’d rather avoid withdrawal and all. I had enough of that.
I guess this is just the reality of being single and not PMOing like the rest of society. I know someone is going to say socialize more. I am and will do more. At the moment I’m a little limited and maybe that is feeding the brain worms. I’m also in an interesting spot where the vast majority of women are looking lovely. I’m not in the right setting presently to put that into personal use, but it seems I’m on a decent trajectory. I don’t want to undo that for some silly experimentation that is likely to lead to nothing.