P 3 weeks MO relapse today (Porn ED recovery)

Submitted by dmoh34 on
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So in the second week of April i found this forum and i was so glad i did. I was having ED problems since i was 16 but I have been regularly looking at porn since around the age of 14/15. I saw the youtube videos and read the information and it made so much sense im mad at myself for not identifying this as the cause of my erection problems. The worst part for me is im in college and i have no problems getting girls but i cant effectively have sex which is a HUGE downer and it absolutely destroyed my confidence. I feared that i would never have a good sexual relationship with a female. I hadnt watched porn or masturbated since then but I had a set back earlier today. Was on FB and a sexy picture turned me on... ended up MO.. didnt think of porn though. thought about real sex. I never really considered myself a porn addict i just used it to aid in my masturbation and i used to do it once a night basically before I went to sleep on average (binged sometimes sometimes i didnt do it at all) ... i really dont feel like im missing anything by not watching it but
How much can masturbating during your reboot phase set you back ? Im really shooting to be cured by July. Not watching porn isnt the hard part for me. MO is so im wondering how much/can it set u back.

MO sets you back

My situation is similar. P was never the problem for me; I could take it or leave it. But fantasizing during M is my addiction, and I personally believe my only hope is not doing that for at least 90 days.

PMO all sets you back

I've found that it all sets you back. While the YourBrainonPorn videos correctly(in my opinion) illustrate the dangers of internet video porn, in my own porn experience MO is now connected to sexy pictures/fantasizing/porn in my brain pathways and can "reignite" those nerve connections we're trying to let lie dormant and quiet down just through MO.

Update 1/5/2012

I want to describe my sexual experiences because now I am curious as to if I really have porn induced ED or maybe its Anxiety induced ED.
I started at a new 4 year institution this past fall and I had sexual encounters with about 5 or so females over the course of the past 3 months. During this time I was not completely abstaining from masturbating and maybe viewed porn once or twice. Either way its been since May since i view porn or masturbated with any type of regularity. A recurring theme is that I can get an erection long enough to penetrate and have sex only if I do not put on a condom and even with me being able to penetrate I loose my erections and or come quickly.

Girl A : We were buzzed from drinks. We went up to my room chilled. We layed down to go to sleep. She took off her clothes and asked for a massage. I gave her one and we made out. As we were making out I got an erection. So we started to have sex but within the first few minutes it got soft. Which has been my main issue. I can achieve an erection (which sometimes takes longer to achieve than other times) but I loose it with regularity. I got my erection back quickly and continued but then I came all this happening within about a 5 minute period. She was sexually dissatisfied and I couldnt get it back up we went to sleep after that (and this chick was smoking out with a super body) : (

Girl B: This girl also spent the night but we didnt do anything sexual... we had sex the next morning tho before she left . It lasted for maybe 5 minutes. I didnt get soft at all and I enjoyed the experience. I came before she did but she had to go to class so it was going to be quick anyway. Had sex with her again some days later but this time I had a hard time maitaning my erection the first time we did it. We took a break then continued.. the next time I didnt have issues maintaining my erection and came in about 10 min.

Girl C: was drunk. we left a party and I walked her to her car. We made out and proceeded towards sex but NOTHING...was happening.. she tried everything outside of giving me a blowjob. Maybe its because I was drunk maybe It wasnt but it didnt happen. We tried to have sex another time but she wouldnt without a condom and as stated above I could not keep it hard enough to put a condom on.

Girl D: Was also drunk this night. Brought the girl to my room.. we went straight in to sex.. made out .. had a raging boner doing that.. penetrated everything was fine... then I lost my erection... tried to get it back up... she wouldnt give me head so we gave up and went to sleep.. I woke up in the middle of the night and we did it but it wasnt for that long tho but i did climax

Girl E: Met her at the mall working in spencers.. turns out she also strips so in my mind im like SCOREEE. lol anyway that weekend she comes over after she leaves the club its 2 in the morning so I knew what was supposed to go down and outta all my experiences I was the limpest here. My penis was dead. I had been drinking this night too but here i think it was performance anxiety more than anything because I knew we were going to have sex. The condom barrier was also there

confused

I thought I asked this in another thread, but I searched and I can't find it, so I apologize if this is duplicate.
I'm confused about this test. It seems difficult to masturbate when not even thinking about a girl (even with clothes on). So the test is to masturbate while thinking about anything except women? Or does it mean to masturbate while thinking about anything except porn?

The test means that you

The test means that you focus on what you are feeling. So you only focus on the sensations from masturbating. Don't fantasize about banging girls or anything. If you notice that it's difficult to reach orgasm from the sensations alone, it means your brain is (still) desensitized.

If you NEED fantasy, you'll probably need fantasy during real sex too. And that sucks of course as you won't be really present then. Would you like it when a girl has to think of sex with a porn guy while you are having sex with her? Just a thought Wink

eye opener!

Wow, that was interesting. The part about the faces was most interesting. That had been my standard practice for as long as I can remember. Maybe I (and maybe others) need to try no FMO. No fantasyMO.

Very interesting

seen this before

I remember when I suspect my masturbation addition was a problem, I searched for old works in Psychology on the topic (called autoeroticism) back then. I did come across a Rudolf Allers who basically said exactly what Barry Long said. He emphasized that the real problem was the attempt to escape from reality. Who is Barry Long anyway?