please help...im worried

Submitted by hopethisisallfixed on
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So lately i have been following the site, and my story is Im 22 since I was about 17 I have PMO on and off for a while even three or four times a day....I went through two serious gfs and found sometimes I suffer from ed.. but mostly when its a random girl..Im writing to find a timeline..I'm on 22 days of no pmo but i have no sex drive what so where..I mean the first week off I had a great libido..but now its like nothing is there..from time to time i definitely notice I have morning wood, but not always... Has any one experience this..I mean for two weeks its been likes nothing is there....sexually...Please help...Will this turn around soon??

Sounds like

you haven't visited http://yourbrainonporn.com/
That is your next stop. All your questions are answered there, and then some. Know that what you are experiencing is typical.

First you need to watch this video series- Erectile Dysfunction and Porn
http://yourbrainonporn.com/erectile-dysfunction-and-porn

Second you need to watch this video series- Your Brain On Porn Series
http://yourbrainonporn.com/your-brain-on-porn-series

Then go to PORN FAQS and start with - Is my erectile dysfunction (ED) related to my porn use? (READ ALL THE LINKS on the page - especially at the bottom!)
http://yourbrainonporn.com/erectile-dysfunction-question

Continue with the rest of the PORN FAQ page and click on what applies to you.

Go to tools for change and start learning about recovery
http://yourbrainonporn.com/tools-for-change

Once you understand what has happened to your brain, and see the path that worked for others, you can chart your own course.

Gary obviously knows way

Gary obviously knows way more than me, but I can say what you are going through is perfectly normal. You'll see story after story out here of different timing in the reboot process. I just had my first libido fire on day 20 where I though my business was going to jump out of my pants (and no I didn't give in, I went and exercised). The reboot is an interesting process.

Yeah i have had that too, I

Yeah i have had that too, I was in the gym last week and got a erection out of nowhere..But for the most part its like I have no libido..DO you know how long it takes to regain the libido to full?? I dont want to be with a girl and get ed....

Read some rebooting accounts

at the bottom of this page: http://yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-accounts

In the case of ED recovery, you'll probably first start noticing more morning wood, but it may be a while.

What can you do to put your attention elsewhere? The more you dwell on this, the more anxious you'll get...and honestly, it's time that heals this problem, not fretting.

Exercise? Meditation? Find out what eases your anxiety best. You'll use that knowledge throughout your life.

*big hug*

Thank you for the

Thank you for the support...Yeah i have been doing my research...I notice I have morning wood that last a long time..but there are times when I dont feel like I have much libido, plus im really nervous about failing with a girl right now...any advice? Thanks

Morning wood

is a very healthy sign. No one has libido *all* the time. It just seems that way in porn movies. Wink

Why not give yourself more time? What's the rush?

That is a good point, but I

That is a good point, but I kinda want to test it...my ed got so bad from porn when I was with girls the only way I could really get it up was thinking about porn movies...now I have notice that my morning wood is extremely hard for a long time which is nice, and there are times when my libido does surge...I am planing on never watching porn again

Hei!

My suggestion if you are worried about your performance with girls right now is just to take things more slowly with them. Give yourself time to get to know them, and them time to get to know you. That way there will be less pressure on you, and they are going to be less bothered if you struggle with your erection. At least, I wasn't that bothered when my boyfriend struggled to maintain an erection the first time we had sex. He was nervous and so was I, but we were already great friends and knew that we like each other for much more than just animal attraction. If you are just hooking up with a girl for sex I imagine that the pressure will be much higher as the girl will be looking for sex there and then, so if you are woried then try not to put yourself in that position. I know most girls my age (I'm ages with you) would rather have a guy genuinely interested in her and have to wait for sex (even the friends who go out frequently on one night stands with strangers) than have a one night hook up.

Thanks for all the support I

Thanks for all the support I appreciate..one other question is it normal during recovery to feel lonely...At times I feel distant from everything and slightly depressed but i think its my brain rewiring, and adjusting with the Dopamine??..I do agree this isnt a complete linear recovery

VERY normal, unfortunately

In fact, you can read many stories of others' withdrawal experiences here: http://yourbrainonporn.com/what-does-withdrawal-from-porn-look-like

You might want to balance that depressing information with the benefits:
http://yourbrainonporn.com/what-benefits-do-people-see-as-they-reboot

Sorry you're suffering. It'll get better. Are you exercising? Time in nature? Socializing? All tend to help. More tips here: http://yourbrainonporn.com/tips-on-rebooting

today was better!

yeah i am working out and eating really healthy..i always have....I do take some workout supplements but i dont think they affect me at all..but tomorrow is four weeks so im really excited for that!!

Good to hear

It really helps to know the bad days pass and can be followed by quite good ones. They should be more spread out now, too.

Four weeks! Wow. That's excellent.

How do I know if I am making

How do I know if I am making progress?? I still dont feel much libido during the day..but at night I do have extremely strong erections?? the night time erections would indicate that this is a mental problem in my ed right??

The situation

will continue to shift for a while.

No, I wouldn't say it indicates you have a mental problem. Relax. Be patient. You only need erections when you're having sex. Have you tried that yet?

No I actually feel kinda

No I actually feel kinda timid too..like today i didnt have much libido and i decided to masturbate for the first time no porn..and it wasnt that great until i actually got hard....ill just be patient and wait a little longer i geuss.. this whole libido thing makes me pretty depressed tho..any advice?

Yeah,

Read this article again, and all links and the child pages (to which we keep adding). http://yourbrainonporn.com/erectile-dysfunction-question

And this one too: http://yourbrainonporn.com/use-it-or-lose-it

You have a normal problem, which will pass. Anxiety is part of recovery...and also a trick by your brain to get you to grab some stimulation. Smile It could slow your return to normal.

How long have you been porn-free?

*big hug*

31 days!

Wow, that's great.

Think about this. Too much stimulation leaves you feeling dissatisfied, i.e., horny, pretty much all the time. If you've been masturbating to internet porn for a long time, that's "normal" for you.

But here's the thing: sex should be satisfying. It should be like eating a good meal. You shouldn't feel hungry all the time...only when it's time to eat. So "normal" is arousal when there's a good chance of getting some action...at least after your early teen years when uncontrollable boners are not that unusual.

Try not to set rigid (;-) ) rules for what your "normal" is. Find out. Sounds to me like you're in good shape.

well this weekend I didnt

well this weekend I didnt engage in any sex...but I did masturbate once no porn!! (second time over no pmo stage)..but looked at pictures which was probably bad..and I just watch one porn video for a few minutes.. I didnt masturbate but was extremely stimulated..which is probably a sign my brain need some serious rewiring still...This upcoming weekend Im going to try and have sex we will see how it turns out..thanks for all of the advice and support this website is a great help!!I wish everything works out.. by the way I was reading similar stories and it seems some people go up to 60 days with no libido..is that true? I wont sweat my libido loss untill 90 days, and I wont watch porn ever again even though I had a 5 minute slip( but not masturbating with it!)...currently I have the best night time erections I have ever had though I wake up and need to go the bathroom and I'm like waiting 15 minutes to wait for it to go down.. I hope my story helps other people out there

good luck

this is exactly what the rest of us need someone going out there and experimenting! wish you all the best be brave and come back and tell us all of your success!

hey

ya man for sure wel help each other out im 20 so were actually pretty close in age but what I think the both of us should do is try to expirement with women so we can teach our brains that that is the only way in which we will be able to stimulate our brains once were off p and m for a while wel be alright with live women.
keep strong brother!

Great News!!!

Soo i have been dating this girl and last night was the first time we kissed..it was amazing..this girl is amazing..the feeling was amazing..I was super erect most of the time...like hours of kissing and cuddling some times it died down a little...and today the thought of porn is anything but appealing and a distance thought...I cant wait to see the future!!beest of luck to everyone!

Even gets better

Yup all fixed..last night had sex...rock hard and even had a dream about sex with a real women...thanks for all the support..Its definitely worth to stop porn..best of luck to everyone!!

dude!

congradulations! i hope to emulate your success soon!!!!!!!!!! can you send me a message giving me advice or tips!?!?!?!
Another story of hope!

yes maam!

and I sent him a message as well im trying to stay positive and attentive and was wondering if they could explain to me more in depth as well as give me tips!

lol!

maybe so but with each one that I read it makes me feel that much more confident that il be able to perform when the time comes! it eases my worries!

First time in a while

So my journey.. I was about 9 weeks of no pmo, I started to notice a lot more in my nighttime erections and even had sex a few times...but sometimes I worried my libido is going to let me down. Today I had an urge to watch porn and I did, and masturbated. I feel terrible this is my first time doing it..Will this be a huge set back ? Thanks

I did read the chaser effect

I did read the chaser effect very interesting.. I just had sex over the weekend so it was pretty recent. There are times when I really dont have much of a libido or maybe its just me adjusting? I mean porn use to just make me horny automatically. I may have slipped once but im not going to let it happen again.

"Making" yourself horny

means your brain isn't really ready for more action yet. I know that sounds weird when you feel like you "really need to get off," but it's almost as if there are two types of libido...one from healthy balance and the joy of connecting and one resulting from withdrawal cravings. In the latter case, you use porn to override your natural satiety.

is it normal to feel like

is it normal to feel like still there are times when I have no libido? I really stress about my libido all the time...like im trying to force myself to get really horny about girls...There was once a time when I went like 6 months w out porn..what i remember was the first three months I didnt even worry getting horny and after that it was a like i had a great libido..any thoughts?

I think

you've answered your own question. There's often a "flatline" period of no libido when one quits porn (overstimulation of the brain's reward circuitry).

Then, by about week 8 (give or take), libido comes roaring back. We write this over and over, here and on YBOP, and yet no one seems to register it. Maybe if I had a penis, I'd understand the need to keep asking this question rather than simply trusting the process. Wink

libido obsession

I too find myself obsessed with my libido, which is certainly putting a damper on it. I too think you answered your own question with what you noticed in your 6 month period. There really isn't any shortcut (except connecting) to regaining libido.

Sad to say

So over the last two weeks I started to watch porn again...I have pmo about 5 times over the two weeks .. I just did it twice today I feel miserable right now and almost helpless. Its upsetting because I had sex on Thursday and had a decent libido, I fall into the chaser effect... Any help or advice?? Maybe a porn filter?